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"answerCreateTime": "3-20 22:46",
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"content": "你好，弟弟，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师王兴永。\n\n被别人说不好，我们容易往心里去。年轻人大都渴望被鼓励和肯定。尤其妈妈，在关系当中是对你最重要的人。你很在意在妈妈的心目中的形象。\n\n我也从你这个时候过来过。每当听到别人说我不好的时候，特别是亲近的人，情绪就会很烦躁。很容易怼回去或者破罐破摔，或者就像你说的很丧。\n\n这是我们容易感到贬低，处理自己情绪的能力又不够，同时在意别人的评价，更多是内心力量的不足，没去找当下自己有的资源。\n\n这时候，很多人会用幽默化解，或是内心很有力量的自黑自嘲。看起来你很不善于表达。这对你要求显高。我也是大多数做不到。\n\n解决不止一条路（其实条条大路通罗马）。你可以发愤图强，忍辱负重，默默努力，决心要卸掉这个心理包袱。不断的锤炼打造自己，这个需要努力、努力、再努力。\n\n不只有孤影自怜，其实你应该当下更多的觉察。妈妈的话，或者别人评论的话，让你感觉到了什么？丧的理由是什么？后面的动力就会出来。祝你越来越好\n\n我是咨询师王兴永，如果你对我的回答感兴趣，请点击头像，去主页关注我一下，咨询有优惠。",
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"content": "这里估计没有几个人能够体会她这种心理，唯独我可能更了解她，从她的角度看，她父母不支持，她没有依靠，受委屈，考了一次没过，家人抱怨，亲戚朋友不理解，说明你是个上进的姑娘，但是缺少那种常人的毅力，姑娘加油你可以的，相信自己失败了重新来，你可以的[鼓掌][鼓掌][鼓掌]",
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"toContent": "what，那上面显示是个男孩啊",
"toName": "。。",
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"content": "我跟你差不多，我们要努力和自己待在一起，承认接纳自己的不完美，其实，没关系的，你比想象中的要好得多，一切都会好起来的，我们需要更多地关爱关怀自己，与真实的自己和解，拥抱自己。难过时，用手抱抱自己的肩膀，这会给我们带来很多勇气和安慰。没事的，我们本来的样子就很好。",
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"name": "心情and soul。远方。",
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"toContent": "说的不赖",
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"content": "你没有学历，没有像样的工作，这是事实。如果你问你妈为什么这么说，她会说是为了你好，教育你，但这也是冷漠的表现，每个人都对他人有评价，但大都不说出来，即使负面有负面的言论，他会说为了激励你。但这算哪门子的激励，这不过是她想发挥一下家长的批评碎嘴功能，却不顾及你难受吗，却不说，你应该怎么做让自己变得更好，所以你没办法跟她交流。如果她真的为了你的未来，就应该劝劝你好好考，现在，如果你受不了，不放出去住备考，但还是要回去看她，关心她，年龄大了，就是爱说一说，没办法的，",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 14:43",
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"content": "你好，从你的描述中，从小在舅舅家长大，单亲。妈妈在你青春期才介入多一点，上大学你也努力了，能工作独立，有上进心，知道自己需要什么，非常好！别人对你的评价，特别是负面评价，有点敏感，特别妈妈也是这样做，让你很受伤。从老师的解读是，妈妈对你目前的状况有更高期待，不是看不起你。而你现在更需要得到妈妈的支持，认可，欣赏。你更好的安全感自信，咨询师可以帮到你，欢迎私聊我。",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 03:39",
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"content": "大姐。。。我只是成人大专毕业而已。。。我觉得我审美啊。。各方面也很优秀。。。我只想自立门户。。我不想一辈子打工。。。你觉得呢。。。有了自己的事业别人说什么都说不进去了。。",
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"time_str": "昨天 03:39",
"toContent": "可以考虑专插本",
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"content": "看起来你很在意别人对你能力的评价，那你自己是如何评价自己的呢？如果不满意现状也是可以继续深造的，尤其你现在还年轻，一切皆有可能，加油！",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 08:42",
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"content": "一样的，理解你！[拥抱][拥抱][爱心]妈妈有时说话真的是不会考虑我们的感受，她并不知道她说的那些在无形中已经伤害了我们[害羞]",
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"toContent": "我一个初二的学生，已经不愿意和亲戚，和父母一起去吃饭了，不为别的，就是不想在我面前聊关于我的事情，我会觉得不适，很别扭，还有，一会说谁谁的亲戚死了，或者说什么病了，搞得我都没法好好吃饭（本人胆极其小，连我妈大声说话都怕[破涕为笑][破涕为笑][破涕为笑][破涕为笑][破涕为笑]）",
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"content": "可以考虑专插本",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 18:24",
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"content": "都说原生家庭的伤害需要几十年才能化解，单亲家庭的你可能小时候缺乏父母的关心，想要变得乖，变得更优秀，这样妈妈才会看到你，才会表扬你，你才能更好的感受到母亲的关爱。高考的失利和你所说的没有好好学有一定的关系，但是不是你压力太大了从而导致心乱了呢？你的妈妈希望你出人头地，当然所有的母亲都是这样，小时候的经历让你明白了母亲的不容易，所以你更害怕母亲失望，非常在意母亲的看法，因为她是你唯一可以真正交心的人。你说你什么都不太行，但是你也可以自己养活自己了呀，没有啃老，没有放弃，你的心里还是很孝顺还是不服输的，你可以做的更好的，妈妈说你不行为什么不能理解成她另一种爱你的方式呢，就像小时候一样，她不常在你身边但是你变得比别人更加懂事，现在她说你不行，你能比别人更好地承受压力[温暖]",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 22:34",
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"content": "1、失败是常事，并不代表你不行;2、找你母亲深层次的沟通一次或者几次，让她明白你的人生规划和追求，并希望得到她的支持(你缺少父爱，自然就会缺少父爱呵护下的勇气，所以你应该告诉你母亲，让她明白你很在意她的评价和支持);3、盲目的比较，会失去自己的，因为社会攀比的参考坐标是多层次、多角度的(比如你跟一个起点就不为吃喝玩乐发愁的人比，有比较意义吗?所以不要去比，而是要去榜样，向榜样学习自己的不足);4、你之前的懂事可能是建立在母亲辛苦的基础上，不想惹她难过，过于急于证明自己，但结果又不如人意，所以自己茫然了，觉得自己不行了，想放弃了，(送你一句话，是我老婆曾经说给我的:你20多岁的人，想拥有40岁人的财富和资源，不可能的，所以为了理想，还是要脚踏实地的)。",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师沙彩虹。\n通过您的描述，我总结一句话\n您目前困扰的是，自己非常在意别人说自己不行，一旦听到就难受，是吗？\n可以试着问自己下面的问题\n你想要的目标或者心理成长的方向这样吗？就是即使别人说你，自己也可以不那么在意，不那么敏感。\n\n首先呢，您的经历，妈妈的教育方式，让您没有自信和敏感，缺乏自己的力量，导致自己很敏感，是可以理解的，也就是说你的感受是真实的，也是自然的，很敏感是事实，心理成长的第一步是承认和接纳。\n其次，这种心理状态对当下生活的影响程度，如果严重影响了自己的社会功能，你需要进行心理咨询，来协助自己重建新的平衡和谐。\n感谢您对我的信任，希望我的回答能够帮助到您。\n如果还有疑问，欢迎私信我和我交流。",
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"content": "通过你的描述能够感受到，你是一位很在意和妈妈处理好关系的也特别在乎妈妈对你的看法，同时也看到了你在学习方面，也曾经付出过很多的努力，一定程度上看在学习上面也是不错的，仅仅差二本两分。\n\n我一直在寻找你的问题在哪里，那么从头到尾都是句号的话，那都是你在描述，如果把一个句号改成问号的话，那会看清楚你现在矛盾的，焦虑的，踌躇的心情一个展望和方向，从而可以更好的帮你去解答。\n\n不论过去发生了什么，那现在在外打拼你能够养活自己，不需要家人来帮忙，那你是怎么做到的？\n\n还在邀请你思考一下，你是通过了怎样的努力，能够不需要别人帮助养活自己？\n\n在其中有什么方面你做的是最满意的，最骄傲的？期待你的回答。",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师孙姗姗\n在你的字里行间中，我感受到父母分开，和母亲一起生活的你，把母亲放在生命中很重要的位置，很希望得到她的支持和鼓励，但母亲没有意识到，她的语言暴力给你的内心带来了伤害，让你产生自我怀疑，没有自信，内心敏感。很能理解你的无助，委屈，矛盾和纠结。\n如果你愿意，可以来我的主页，看我之前分享的文章《长大后，我们要学会与原生家庭握手言和》，或许可以找到自己的影子和一些方法。\n希望能给你带来一定的启发和帮助，祝福你。",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师姚洪敏。你是单亲家庭，妈妈是你唯一的亲人，从小在舅舅家长大，和妈妈相处少。由于高考没有考上本科，读了专科，导致毕业工作后也得不到妈妈的认可，但是你可以养活你自己。我认为能养活自己，你就已经很了不起了。现在又多少孩子还在啃老，不肯出去吃苦找工作。所以，我给你的建议是，不必在乎别人的评价，做提升积极情绪的训练，相信你会更加自信的。感谢你的信任，希望我的回答能够让您满意，如果还有疑问，欢迎私信和我私聊交流。",
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"content": "你说了你学历和小教没过，你也觉得自己确实是不够优秀，那么你就大大方方和家里人和妈妈说，对不起您一个人拉扯我长大，我感激，我没做到您想看到的样子，让你感到失望了，但并非是我不上进，我已经竭尽所能的在生活了，我也很难接受自己能力平平，我也很难过，能不能不要再说我没用了，我真的努力了。。。。。。。你决定男生的原因是你也觉得自己能力不足是错，你不自信，你对自身价值没有自信，，，大概就是不自信，，，",
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"toContent": "一定要学会和亲密关系表达痛点，无关对错，重要的是能舒服，被自己唯一的至亲嫌弃一定很难过吧，加油！",
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"content": "您好，母亲在您的心中占据着重要的位置，您很看重母亲对您的评价。当母亲不认可您的能力的时候，您很受打击。您能自食其力，认为自己并没有那么不好。不公平的评价让您觉得受伤、难过。\n\n我们或多或少都在和身边的社会发生联系，或者是家人，或者是亲戚，或者是朋友。我们对自己有一套评价体系，同时我们也不能阻止别人对我们发出评价。让自己变得坚强，更加接纳自己，缓解和周围的关系，会让我们更舒适。",
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"content": "你好！\n看了你的描述，感觉你得到过多的负面评价，并且你也认同了这些负面评价。给你一些建议：1、每天寻找自己一个优点或者是做的比较好的一些事情。\n2、每天对着镜子告诉自己是美好的、优秀 的，然后对着镜子给自己一个微笑。\n如果还是很难树立信心，建议做一两次心理咨询，促进自我成长。\n我是壹点灵心理咨询师韩红岩，希望我的建议可以帮到你。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 10:32",
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"content": "我想你妈妈一定是对你抱了一个挺高的期待，所以当你有这样的一个表现的时候，他的内心落差比较大，所以会有这么强烈的表现。但她的这个表现对于你而言确实是不公平的。你已经是成年人了，对吗？你可以像成年人一样去跟妈妈表达你的感受。而且关于你的未来发展，一定要看看你想要的是什么，怎么样做能够得到你想要的。",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 19:18",
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"content": "我一个初二的学生，已经不愿意和亲戚，和父母一起去吃饭了，不为别的，就是不想在我面前聊关于我的事情，我会觉得不适，很别扭，还有，一会说谁谁的亲戚死了，或者说什么病了，搞得我都没法好好吃饭（本人胆极其小，连我妈大声说话都怕[破涕为笑][破涕为笑][破涕为笑][破涕为笑][破涕为笑]）",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 10:27",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师史新慧。\n别人对你的评级，对你影响很大，尤其是妈妈，让你觉得自己不行。你的生活你自己规划，自己觉得舒服，自己觉得愉悦就行。对自己要有一个客观全面的认识：大体是不错的。\n如果你愿意，可以私聊我，或者预约我的咨询。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 10:44",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师逯金华。\n\n原生家庭应该带给了你伤害，妈妈的教育方式也让你不舒服，目前暂时遇到一些小困难，这些都是我们人生路上的小卡点，突破之后我们会遇到新的自己。\n\n如果你需要我们可以聊聊，希望给到你更具体的建议。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 10:33",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "你好，看了你的留言，能感觉到你内心的伤心无助，特别是最亲近的人对自己不好的评价，会特别容易伤心，其实这很正常。\n只是长期累积负面情绪会让我们的内心压抑，原本可以很好完成的事情，好像也不太一样了。可以考虑找一个咨询师好好聊一下。",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 07:06",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "最亲的人没有给支持，反而打击伤害你最深，你需要的是和解的方式，如果你做好改变的准备了，我愿意协助你。",
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"answerCreateTime": "今天 01:31",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "一定要学会和亲密关系表达痛点，无关对错，重要的是能舒服，被自己唯一的至亲嫌弃一定很难过吧，加油！",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 22:45",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "我和你一样，从我父母嘴里说出来的我一无是处，说我脾气不好，好像有人能娶我就烧高香了。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 10:27",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "妈妈说你并不是要埋怨你，你是她的女儿，她心疼你希望你过的好，那些话都是对你的激励",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 19:39",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "人生有些东西是别人赋予你的 也有一些东西是自己赋予自己的 做自己想做的就好",
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"name": "呵呵 禁评了",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 17:43",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "没事你可以像垃圾一样活着，告诉她，你说我像谁我就像谁",
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"name": "ydl**********468",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 19:10",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "what，那上面显示是个男孩啊",
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"name": "。。",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 20:31",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "和你有一样的感受",
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"time_str": "昨天 20:31",
"toContent": "你说了你学历和小教没过，你也觉得自己确实是不够优秀，那么你就大大方方和家里人和妈妈说，对不起您一个人拉扯我长大，我感激，我没做到您想看到的样子，让你感到失望了，但并非是我不上进，我已经竭尽所能的在生活了，我也很难接受自己能力平平，我也很难过，能不能不要再说我没用了，我真的努力了。。。。。。。你决定男生的原因是你也觉得自己能力不足是错，你不自信，你对自身价值没有自信，，，大概就是不自信，，，",
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"answerCreateTime": "今天 01:17",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "感觉和我好像",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 22:02",
"askId": 534189,
"content": "说的不赖",
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"content": "单亲家庭，妈妈是我唯一的亲人，从小在舅舅家呆得多，跟妈妈相处少，高中之前妈妈对我比较顺从，因为不常在我身边，我也比较懂事不跟别人瞎玩比较省心。但是高三没好好学，距2本线差10几分，",
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"title": "很在意别人的看法，不由自主跟身边的人比较，不爱跟朋友接触了",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 00:07",
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"content": "你好，亲爱的同学，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师王兴永。\n\n我很能理解你现在的感受。妈妈的目标总是很实用，却很少能够走进你的内心。她是你情绪的压榨者与剥削者。自以为是的用大人的视角来批评你，要求你，甚至否定你。你几乎得不到肯定和理解。当你谈到高中上完晚自习回家的那个场景，我能体验到那个痛苦与悲凉。这样你不抑郁才怪呢。\n\n解铃还需系铃人。我能体验到你现在的情绪压力很大，非常抑郁。建议你在平台上做一个系统的心理评测。可以先做一个量表scl90,把结果发给我，我帮你评估一下。\n\n我是咨询师王兴永，如果你对我的回答感兴趣，请点击我的头像，去主页关注一下，咨询有优惠。欢迎，有需要随时联系我。",
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"content": "你好！我是壹点灵咨询师张洁。\n\n你在妈妈的强力控制下和反复唠叨下，心情十分抑郁。长期的高强度的反复打压造成你对自己虽然成绩优秀却没有信心。疫情下整个社会的情绪都传递着不安和焦虑。你属于对外界的信息比较敏感的。因此在图书馆里面你能够感觉好一点，是因为图书馆的沉静的氛围影响了你。我看到前面有老师说你是场依存的，应该也是这个意思。你对环境是比较敏感的。而且根据你的描述，你是偏顺从型的。\n\n你的妈妈看上去是一个指责型人格。她自己和周围人的关系也不好。这些都和她的指责型人格是分不开的。\n\n你现在所处的情况，最怕是“身在此山中而不自知”，那样是比较危险的。你很聪明，已经自己认识到了问题所在。你一时半会而改变你妈妈也是不可能的，她是长久形成的很难改。\n\n给你两点建议：\n1.\t尽量少和妈妈说话。她说话你认真听和按照她的说的应付一下。心中默念：我和她说的不一样。学会从她营造的环境中抽离出去。\n2.\t去追剧，追一部外语喜剧剧集最好。可以跟周围人说是英语老师布置的沉浸式作业。这样，你把所有的台词抄下来，在家里反复念，显得很用功的样子。一方面可以练习外语为考研做准备。另一方面，你妈妈不懂英语的话，你也借机和她拉开距离。\n\n长久来说，最好在指导下摆脱焦虑和抑郁的情绪，让自己强大起来。你一定可以的！\n\n希望你觉得有所收获。如有问题，欢迎私聊探讨。",
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"toContent": "好的，谢谢您！",
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"content": "我的理解是：这是一个在老妈逼迫和打压下，缺少关爱的小女孩的艰难成长史。你现在长大了，哪里有压迫哪里就有抗争。现在你需要抗争的合理方法，在不伤害母亲的基础上进行独立对吧。如果是请联系我，我会带你展开一趟心灵之旅，旅程愉快结束后，你会得到你要的方法。",
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"content": "我当时看的时候觉得又心痛又激动，但我觉得自己没办法捍卫独立，毕竟电影中的主人公是有自己的工作的，但我现在还在读大学",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 23:39",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "谢谢你的积极反馈。你是一个感恩心很强的人。疫情当前保护好自己哦",
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"content": "好的，谢谢您。那个画面我记得",
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"toContent": "嗯嗯，她做那个动作保护了自己的独立空间。虽然给她母亲造成伤害，但是还好，并无大碍。",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师李芯羿。\n当今社会中流传中这样一句话：请穿秋裤，因为妈妈觉得你冷！通过你的文字内容描述，感受到了妈妈经常唠叨你，经常批评你，当妈妈安排的事情不如所想，或没达到妈妈的要求的时候，很失望，言语伤害或冷战也给自己带来低压情绪。你想和妈妈恢复亲密关系，但很多时候与妈妈都是无效的沟通。因为妈妈很强势，很固执。妈妈总认为自己是对的，别人都是错的，从高中到大学一直这样走来真是挺不容易的。妈妈爱你的感情是没有错的，但妈妈的行为有对错。很多时候我们没有办法改变别人的想法，唯一能改变的就是自己。你顺利上大学，准备考研，读书交友，说出自己的烦恼，这些都是改变自己的方法，当我们还在乎别人的评价的时候说明我们的内心还不够强大，我们还对自己的价值不够肯定，觉得自己不够好。坚持每天早上对自己一个微笑，对自己说一句话，我值得被爱！我做的很好！我是最棒的！强大自己的内心，自己爱自己，当我们内心的爱丰足的时候，我们就有力量接受外界的风雨。希望我的解答能对你有所帮助。",
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"time_str": "3-18 08:49",
"toContent": "好的，谢谢您的帮助！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 11:21",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵国家二级心理咨询师。\n\n首先，通过你的文字，非常能够理解你的处境与感受。可能因为妈妈自身性格的原因，很难与妈妈能建立一个很好的关系。妈妈是我们生命中非常重要的一个他人，所以，如果和她关系一直有问题的话，可以想象这会给孩子带来什么样的心理创伤。\n\n当然，你很坚强，你通过你的方法，承受着情绪困扰，调整着自己的状态，顺利高考，也上了大学了。\n\n当然，痛苦不会随着上大学了而改变。因为，毕竟问题并不是学业压力问题，而是原生家庭问题。疫情的居家耳机是的你心里面对家庭的困惑，敏感，情绪都赤裸裸的暴露了出来，这让你很痛苦。因为，这个问题，从来没有被解决过。\n\n这样的状况继续发展下去，积压的情绪困惑不解越来越多，对你的情绪问题势必会有加深。所以，建议你可以做一下正式心理咨询，我们去面对他，面对问题，直面它，并应对它。你可以从里面走出来，让生活进去正规。\n\n需要的话，欢迎找我\n\n祝好！",
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"time_str": "3-16 11:21",
"toContent": "嗯好的，谢谢您的帮助！",
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"content": "看到你说“高中的时候每天晚上十点半下了晚自习都在回家的路上默默地哭，也不想回家，早上也不想去学校，回家也躲着哭，几乎每天都会这样。”，我的心里也非常的难受，感受到了你一路走来的不容易。\n然而在这样的环境中，你不仅考入了大学，而且通过努力还很优秀，现在还在做着考研的准备，真得佩服你的学习能力与毅力。\n从小至今，母亲对你教养方式让你不接纳，虽然也尝试着去与她交流，但效果并不理想。母亲的个性形成不是一天两天的事情，所以要想去改变，可想而知还是有一些困难的。而对你自己来说，现阶段的学习目标明确，可以将多一些精力放在实施学业计划上来。\n你描述到自己的情绪持续的低落，注意力容易分散，似乎影响到了生活与学习，建议你去专业精神卫生机构门诊做相关的评估诊断，必要时辅助心理咨询。\n大学里学业压力也不小，又要准备考研，一定要照顾好自己。\n我是壹点灵心理咨询师周传珍。希望我的回答能给您一些帮助。",
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"toContent": "嗯嗯，好的，谢谢您！",
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"content": "有这样的妈妈真的会让人很无语，她把孩子没有看成一个平等的、独立的个体，而是看成自己的附属，从小到大用一种“我这样要求你是为你好”束缚你，从没有静下心来仔细的聆听孩子的声音，没有对孩子进行赞美、鼓励和支持，没有进行赏识教育，在她的眼中你永远做的都不够好，她用一种完美的标准要求你、衡量你，她把世界描述的非常可怕和险恶，这种控制欲使得她无法体会对方的感受，因为缺乏同理心使得其人际关系受阻！\n\n无论网上测试还是去医院精神科，都仅仅是测试，不要轻易给自己贴标签！你有很好的自省能力，已经成年并接受高等教育啦，相当一部分事情可以自己做主！你无法改变家长，但可以通过交友、参加社团、寻求专业心理咨询师的帮助等多种方式实现自己内心的成长，逐步消除妈妈给你造成的影响！\n我有几个大学生来访者与你有类似的经历，咨询后已经变得越来越好，欢迎私聊！希望帮助你！",
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"name": "陈希南",
"time_str": "3-16 10:49",
"toContent": "好的，谢谢您！",
"toName": "oni",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 18:54",
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"content": "同学你好，看到你的故事，我感同身受。有一个控制欲望强的妈妈，对我们的成长来说是一种灾难，这种灾难的危害是破坏了我们成为自己的最本质的生命渴望，也剥夺了我们的生活自主权，在妈妈的控制下，我们什么都不能自己做主，只能一次次的选择放弃和进行自我攻击。面对控制欲强的妈妈，唯一办法就是反抗，因为一个控制强的人你越是退让她对你的控制欲望越强，只能通过反抗来进行自救。在反抗中，你会有内疚感出现，但是千万不要内疚，你越是内疚就越没有反抗的力量。读你的故事，发现你的行文思路很好，如果难过可以写日记，书写也是一种疗愈。还有可以看看《黑天鹅》这部电影，或许会给你一些启发，当然你想找个心理咨询师聊聊，我也很欢迎你。",
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"name": "张大伟",
"time_str": "3-17 18:54",
"toContent": "好的，谢谢您，高中的时候看过很多很多遍《黑天鹅》。常常觉得自己最后可能要不就是死了，要不就是疯了，因为真的没有能力反抗，就是因为内疚，我没办法消除那种内疚，也没有独立的经济能力让我可以远离家庭的这种环境。但还是谢谢您的开导。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 21:55",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师马亚萍。\n 认真地看了你的文章，老师非常能够理解你的处境与感受。妈妈是我们生命中很重要的一个人，她的一举一动深深地影响着自己，可以想象由于妈妈自身的原因可能给孩子带来的短期和长期的影响。很庆幸地是，老师看到了你的优点---那就是你很努力，有着自己的想法和思路，有一定的目标和追求，同时你也用不同的方式寻找出一条双赢的路子。\n So我希望我们能共同交流，面对问题能积极面对，让生活过得更好。\n 感谢您对我的信任，希望我的回答能够帮助到您。如还有疑问，欢迎预约我的咨询，私信和我交流。",
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"name": "马亚苹",
"time_str": "3-17 21:55",
"toContent": "谢谢您！",
"toName": "oni",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师姚洪敏。从小性格很敏感，妈妈又是控制欲非常强，你从来不敢反驳她。现在你大二了，还是跟妈妈无法交流，没办法集中注意力学习，每天都很难过，疫情的居家更让你疲惫与无奈。我给你的建议是：第一，你属于场依存型，对学习环境的要求决定你学习的效率，所以你要制造一个适合你学习的环境；第二，放松心态，在学习之前先做做正念的训练；第三，学习一些与人沟通的技巧，毕竟，你还有几年就要面临找工作，学会与人相处的模式也很重要。感谢您对我的信任，希望我的回答能够帮助到您。如还有疑问，欢迎预约我的咨询，私信和我交流。",
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"name": "姚洪敏",
"time_str": "3-16 09:44",
"toContent": "谢谢您，请问正念训练是什么呢？",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 5179302,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2019/11/07/08c08e7c956bd7336e518470a563a1cf..jpeg!s200x200",
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"zan": 0
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"answerCreateTime": "3-20 22:37",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "你好，妈妈的强势控制，对你的生活学习造成了严重的影响。是你痛苦绝望无奈，还有愤怒。我理解你的心情。如果是我碰到这样的妈妈，同样会是那么的无助。妈妈有这样的生活模式，可能也有一个不幸的童年，如果妈妈愿意可以让她聊聊童年，聊聊她与外公外婆互动模式。作为你要接纳你的妈妈，不要有高期待，专心学习，有焦虑的时候，可以做些适合自己的是做，如运动冥想听音乐放松训练聊天逛街等等。如果还没减缓，请你找专业壹点灵咨询师寻求帮助。",
"doctorId": 16622,
"gender": 1,
"id": 3336023,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/16622?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "于士章",
"time_str": "3-20 22:37",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
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"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2020/03/13/njj5k2eyv82bsktw.png",
"userType": 2,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 11:08",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "你好，看到你在妈妈这么多年的高压下，情绪不好那么多年的状态下，还能完成学业，并且很优秀，真的是非常不容易，难以想象你背后付出了多少努力，也说明你内心的能量还是非常强大的！现在因为疫情，放大和延续了这种不好的情绪，首先要到专业的机构去评估一下，如果比较重的话是需要吃药或者其他物理治疗的，如果不是很严重，那寻找专业的心理咨询师进行规律的心理咨询就可以了。你这么有韧性的一个人，只要有专业的帮助应该很快就能好起来。",
"doctorId": 16421,
"gender": 2,
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"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/16421?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "陈林艳",
"time_str": "3-16 11:08",
"toContent": "好的！谢谢您的鼓励！",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 6188366,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2020/03/05/fvzftigi4y60bhqm.png!s200x200",
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"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 11:21",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师李捷。\n\n控制欲强的父母相较于孩子的需求更关注自己的需求，她看不到你的情感。\n\n但改变别人超越我们的能力，我们能做的是改变自己。控制自己与母亲之间的距离，把注意力从母亲身上转走，转到平复自己不安的情绪上，转到自我成长上，慢慢学会从不安和压力中自我转移，更加冷静。可在咨询师帮助下练习这个能力。",
"doctorId": 16395,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3327869,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/16395?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "李捷",
"time_str": "3-16 11:21",
"toContent": "好的！谢谢您！",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 5835834,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2020/02/24/ad0bcec4cf898cf5cb29eb257e6c63c2..jpeg!s200x200",
"userType": 2,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-18 14:43",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "写日记虽然让我们觉得越来越糟糕，但是那却是我们情绪的一个出口，我们把很多糟糕的事情都讲个了它听，那么是不是也可以给它讲讲高兴的事情呢。心理问题的解决并不会随着时间的推移而消失，它会进入到我们的潜意识。除非你遇到了那个未知的自己。",
"doctorId": 12110,
"gender": 1,
"id": 3332140,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/12110?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "张大伟",
"time_str": "3-18 14:43",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 14:32",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "好的，谢谢您，高中的时候看过很多很多遍《黑天鹅》。常常觉得自己最后可能要不就是死了，要不就是疯了，因为真的没有能力反抗，就是因为内疚，我没办法消除那种内疚，也没有独立的经济能力让我可以远离家庭的这种环境。但还是谢谢您的开导。",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3332115,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-18 14:32",
"toContent": "随着你的长大参加工作，你就可以独立赚钱养活自己了。黑天鹅是从白天鹅演变而来的，写个演变的关键是她反抗了自己的母亲，不知道，你记不记得女主角用门夹住了自己母亲手的那个画面。",
"toName": "张大伟",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 10:24",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "您好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师唐菊兰。\n\n看到在与母亲相处的过程中，给你带来了太多的苦恼和困惑还有委屈，这些对你的学习也造成了一些不好影响，其实这些都是可以通过心理咨询改善的，有兴趣的话可以与我私聊或者直接点我首页咨询。",
"doctorId": 14180,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3327743,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/14180?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "唐菊兰",
"time_str": "3-16 10:24",
"toContent": "嗯好的，谢谢！",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 3736590,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2019/12/30/b25b421a9e3f26ac7e81eb28355e5d9c..jpg!s200x200",
"userType": 2,
"zan": 0
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 14:47",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "随着你的长大参加工作，你就可以独立赚钱养活自己了。黑天鹅是从白天鹅演变而来的，写个演变的关键是她反抗了自己的母亲，不知道，你记不记得女主角用门夹住了自己母亲手的那个画面。",
"doctorId": 12110,
"gender": 1,
"id": 3332144,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/12110?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "张大伟",
"time_str": "3-18 14:47",
"toContent": "好的，谢谢您。那个画面我记得",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 2592323,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2019/05/06/wkgkh0ps0dfhrdgj.png!s200x200",
"userType": 2,
"zan": 0
},
{
"answerCreateTime": "今天 10:55",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "我的初恋因为妈妈而和他分开，现在我得找自己不喜欢的人，好痛苦，遇到自己喜欢的母亲反复说我这不对哪里不对，搞得我没办法没主见好好跟他交流。我就像一个巨婴。",
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"gender": 0,
"id": 3339876,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "ydl**********",
"time_str": "今天 10:55",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 4106300,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png!s200x200",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
},
{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 18:03",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "请问北京有什么比较正规的心理咨询机构吗？我觉得可能先聊一聊会比较好。因为已经去过一次医院，和医生面谈让人很紧张，很多感受和状态没办法表达。",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3328628,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-16 18:03",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 18:05",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "请问北京有什么正规的心理咨询机构吗？我觉得可能先聊一聊会比较好。因为之前去过医院，面对医生很紧张，有很多感受和状态没办法表达。",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3328632,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-16 18:05",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
},
{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 09:50",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "你好 我是壹点灵平台的叶辛\n也许你可以给自已一个独立的计划，\n在经济等各方面独立起来，\n也可以给自已设立边界，保护好自已。",
"doctorId": 15092,
"gender": 1,
"id": 3327685,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/15092?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "叶辛",
"time_str": "3-16 09:50",
"toContent": "好的，谢谢您！",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 5184848,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2020/03/03/q2g2feh9ciozi2hg.png!s200x200",
"userType": 2,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-18 14:33",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "写过很多很多日记一样的记录，觉得自己是越来越糟了，都说16到29岁是最容易出现心理问题的时候，拿过了这个时间段会好一些吗？",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3332120,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-18 14:33",
"toContent": "写日记虽然让我们觉得越来越糟糕，但是那却是我们情绪的一个出口，我们把很多糟糕的事情都讲个了它听，那么是不是也可以给它讲讲高兴的事情呢。心理问题的解决并不会随着时间的推移而消失，它会进入到我们的潜意识。除非你遇到了那个未知的自己。",
"toName": "张大伟",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
},
{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 09:46",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "你可以到公立心理医院评估一下，如果医生建议你治疗，你可以综合考虑是否找学校的心理咨询师进行心理康复",
"doctorId": 10905,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3327674,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/10905?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "武月鲜",
"time_str": "3-16 09:46",
"toContent": "好的，谢谢您，公立医院评估是应该怎么挂号怎么看呢？",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 2742042,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2018/12/27/t16jzosfy6o5s8jr.png!s200x200",
"userType": 2,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-18 15:59",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "嗯嗯，她做那个动作保护了自己的独立空间。虽然给她母亲造成伤害，但是还好，并无大碍。",
"doctorId": 12110,
"gender": 1,
"id": 3332255,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/12110?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "张大伟",
"time_str": "3-18 15:59",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 2592323,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2019/05/06/wkgkh0ps0dfhrdgj.png!s200x200",
"userType": 2,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "前天 19:33",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "你好。很明显的一个关键词是投射，她不是对你不放心，她是对自己不放心。",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 0,
"id": 3337434,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "克莱因瓶",
"time_str": "前天 19:33",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 18:20",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "北京的心理咨询机构您可以在网上查询一下，找一些可信度高的。",
"doctorId": 16276,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3328682,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/16276?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "周传珍",
"time_str": "3-16 18:20",
"toContent": "好的，谢谢您",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 5160872,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2020/03/04/p6q4f33g7muhywyf.png!s200x200",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 09:48",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "好的，谢谢您，公立医院评估是应该怎么挂号怎么看呢？",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3327678,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-16 09:48",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "今天 10:54",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "我和你一样，她已经严重的影响到我的婚姻。",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 0,
"id": 3339873,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "ydl**********",
"time_str": "今天 10:54",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 4106300,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png!s200x200",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 09:47",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "谢谢您，请问正念训练是什么呢？",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3327675,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-16 09:47",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 17:55",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "嗯好的，谢谢您的帮助！",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3328611,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-16 17:55",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 17:55",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "嗯嗯，好的，谢谢您！",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3328608,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-16 17:55",
"toContent": "请问北京有什么比较正规的心理咨询机构吗？我觉得可能先聊一聊会比较好。因为已经去过一次医院，和医生面谈让人很紧张，很多感受和状态没办法表达。",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
},
{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 17:56",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "好的！谢谢您的鼓励！",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3328615,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-16 17:56",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
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"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-18 14:21",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "好的，谢谢您的帮助！",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3332083,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-18 14:21",
"toContent": "",
"toName": "",
"uid": 0,
"userHead": "http://img.ydlcdn.com/v2/images/avatar_default.png",
"userType": 1,
"zan": 0
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 09:50",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "网上有，你搜一下。",
"doctorId": 15091,
"gender": 2,
"id": 3327683,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/15091?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "姚洪敏",
"time_str": "3-16 09:50",
"toContent": "好的，谢谢您",
"toName": "oni",
"uid": 5179302,
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2019/11/07/08c08e7c956bd7336e518470a563a1cf..jpeg!s200x200",
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"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "昨天 20:32",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "[拥抱][拥抱]",
"doctorId": 0,
"gender": 0,
"id": 3339080,
"isAvailable": 0,
"isOpenListen": 0,
"listenLinkUrl": "https://h2.yidianling.com/experts/0?id=null&toConfide=1",
"name": "ydl**********534",
"time_str": "昨天 20:32",
"toContent": "",
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"zan": 0
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{
"answerCreateTime": "3-16 10:10",
"askId": 535021,
"content": "好的，谢谢您！",
"doctorId": 0,
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"content": "你好，亲爱的同学，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师王兴永。\n\n到了高三确实累，没日没夜的学，可即使这样学习成绩未必令人满意。那我该怎么办呢？你得咬咬牙坚持。因为放弃，你就输了。\n\n老天从不辜负人的努力，同时也要检验你的耐心、勇气。不被困难和绝望打倒，你就是强者。高三确实到了一生当中相对最重要的一个阶段。\n\n你必须坚韧不拔，你必须要刻苦，能吃苦，苦中作乐。现在吃不了学习的苦，将来将受吃生活的苦。\n\n成功哪有一帆风顺，哪有一蹴而就？！想想你在生命之初，做精子的时候，你就要努力奔跑，努力地向前游，最终你战胜了2亿多同胞。当然这个过程你不会记得了，但潜意识里是有的。亲爱的同学真心祝福你，经历风雨遇见彩虹。\n\n如果你对我的回答感兴趣，请点击我的头像，去主页关注一下，咨询有优惠。",
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"content": "你现在学习很累是正常现象，高中生辛苦和压力也是在所难免的。生活也得讲究苦尽甘来。虽然如今的生活物质上有所改善但精神上要肯吃苦才行。原先老说80、90、00后这几代年轻人好吃懒惰但现在也成为社会上的顶梁柱了。比如这次新型冠状疫情让许多90、00后年轻人成长了不少。昔日的娃娃如今已经长大成人，成为新时代共和国的脊梁。走向社会后的生活也是又苦又累，在社会上进入到复杂的环境中没有校园生活的单纯无忧无虑，有的行业比上学还苦还累，比如：外包工、军人、公检法。走向社会身份和角色也要转换过来。就因为你是父母的孩子你的爹娘才会宠着你呵护你，包括学校老师师徒如父子，老师看待学生也像看自己的子女似的。但走向社会比你职位高的人就不这么看了，当比你职位高的人心情不好的时候就愿意跟刚走出校门刚入职的新人撒气，等工作时间长了就好了，军队就是这样刚入伍的新兵动不动就被老兵折磨等入伍时间长了就好多了。还有职位低的人也同样如此。比你级别高的人也得做一个高情商的人他（她）不敢跟自己的亲朋好友发火，也得做孝顺的孩子不敢跟父母生气，也得做合格的父母不敢跟自己家的孩子生气，可怜天下父母心做父母的心里再难受也不会让自己的子女受到伤害。当然如果有人要这么做明显是不对的，说明这个人个人品德和职业道德不是一般的差。跟别人打骂动粗情节严重绳之以法都有可能。在社会上没有年龄大小高低贵贱之分，不管多少岁不管什么身份绝不能为非作歹，都要做一个勤恳、正直、本分、友善的人才行。没有辛劳，不经过磨练怎么能有报酬获得成功。无论你过去现在未来的生活如何都不要给自己施加太大压力，气大伤身，不要老用痛苦来折磨自己。一个人在学生时代学习成绩如何，学历有多高并不重要。我学历就不是很高，我现在的职业不是我上大学学的专业，但一晃大学毕业三四年了生活也挺幸福的。虽然不是土豪金但没有吃糠咽菜饥寒交迫的生活。学生时代学习不好在社会上有所作为的人也不少。上过名牌大学高学历的人在社会上也不一定能成为出类拔萃的人物。像有些受过教育的人也做过不文明的行为。无论高考成绩如何，上什么层次的高校，学历多高这些都不重要。智商和情商比当然情商更重要。重要的是走向社会后无论多大岁数，无论什么身份绝不能偷鸡摸狗为非作歹好吃懒惰不务正业玩世不恭，要做一个勤恳本分正直友善，能承担起养家糊口责任的大好人。",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师周传珍。\n 进入高中后，学习任务繁重，学生的压力一直都会挺大。尤其是今年面临高考的高三生，因受到疫情的影响，上课方式的调整，更会增加一些不确定性，导致我们出现焦虑情绪。\n您说现在的成绩不太好，也许不是真的不好，或许只是与您自己的标准还有一些差距。高考不仅仅是考书本知识，同时也是对心理弹力的一种考验。现在离高考还有一段时间，您可以暂时放下顾虑，全力以赴地按照学习计划去备考，尽可能地屏蔽外界评论对自己的影响，只要过程努力且方法有效，相信结果应该也不会差。更何况，人生的高度也不是一次考试就能决定的，但如果只是去关注高度，而没一步步地向前走，那就会有更多的烦恼了。\n 希望我的回答能给您一些帮助。",
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"content": "学习不是人生中唯一的目标，别人口中的你也不是最真实的你，只要自己不会后悔遗憾就好啊。人生自有精彩之处，没有谁是一无是处的！",
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"content": "1、你拼是为自己，而不是别人(所以还是学学吧);2、不要让他人活在自己眼里，也不要让自己活在他人眼里(你需要的生活，或者自己追寻的生活，大多数与他人无关);3、不用担心，你没有自己想象的那么出众，没有多少人会太关心你的(所以不用担心周围人);4、怎么会什么长处没有？其实你每天给别人一个善意的微笑，也是一种长处，慢慢来，大学几年有机会好好发现自己的;5、提高自信哦，相信自己最棒的，大学之后可以问我要资料，学会发现自己，学会提高自信等等.....",
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"content": "中国由于排名造成的心理通病，加油，可以私聊我",
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"content": "你感到痛苦，这说明你已经用力了或者你以为你用尽全力了！人生在世不称意十有八九即使是刘邦贵为汉朝的开国皇帝但是也仅只是曾经的小小地方的亭长，大名帝国的开创者朱元璋在建功立业之初也曾为生计而出家进庙被称呼为一句秃驴，毛主席在学习的时候也被小学校长进行拒绝在小学就学最高学历的履历上写了中专两个字。故此过去的经历不重要现在的环境不重要未来的可能不重要，重要的是你在做着一个又一个决定时所产生的态度以及你本身所拥有的品质。王侯将相另有种乎？时势造英雄，英雄也同时影响着事实。你放唱吧我登场，舞台从来不是一个人。你符合条件你上台，我符合条件我上台等巅峰过去后就是病来如上倒了留下的只是下滑以及上升去无法越过的高峰。而在这过程个人的品质以及对待人生的态度尤为重要假始一味的不知手段违背自我的内心即使一时取得了一点成就但是也难逃内心的煎熬，反之亦然。由此可知成长过程中的风景美丽固然好但是更重要的是在当下环境里你的态度以及你的作为的更加的重要。假设你是一个富二代家里亿万身家但是最终你只剩百万那么在不知情的人眼中你会被耻笑，同理你是一个贫苦子但是却刻苦奋斗达到了一个能够为更多的人能够提供的地步且愿意提供即使你一贫如洗则会被人尊重由此可知贫富差距对于个人人格的培养以及心灵的孕育有很大影响却并不是绝对。如果你现在生处贫瘠无用武之地那么你需要忍耐但是在之后能够拥有特定条件满足时你需要争取去追逐希望。即做好现在你所能够做的然后是放宽自我心态即使失败了也请不要沮丧因为你已经尽力即使再来一个人拥有你同样的经历也未必会做的更好，而你只需在此之后潜心下去等到来日做的更好来日不会因自己的问题而让现在的挫折重复的可能增大来日你在重新面对这件事的时候能够心平气和的对这件事情发表你自己的经历。如果你已经尽力了那么你现在要做的就是等待因为该跑的路你都跑过了该打的战你都打过了你守住了你的道所以自有公义皇冠冕为你留存。",
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"time_str": "3-20 20:58",
"toContent": "谢谢您",
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"content": "我身边有很多高三努力的学生，高一高二没怎么学而且成绩倒数的那种，他们凭本事高考考了580多分，一个学期提升300多分，可想而知多么用功努力，可能努力的道路会有很多坎坷，就像我，我才高一，我就感觉我现在特别迷茫不知道怎么学，我想考清华，因为目标太高导致每天自己忙的不得了但是结果却不如以前，我就尝试着脚踏实地，当然了，高三不能只是脚踏实地，而要拼命，抓住机会，尽力了就行，总之，很多人都是在高三逆袭的，只要找对学习方法就肯定没问题，学习方面可以请教老师，老师不会讨厌问问题的学生，尤其是以前不学习现在突然学习的那种学生，可以24小时有20个小时学习，但是前提是你能经受住这样高强度学习，每天要被试卷和压力包围，所以说，最后一年再不努力就没机会了！拼吧！别人有奇迹为什么你不行？",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-20 15:13",
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"content": "其实我们一样，我上初三，你面临高考，我面临中考。其实现在考一所好的高中比考一所好大学难很多。我学习也不怎么好，有的时候我会和你有一样的想法，可是你要知道烦恼没有用。谁说考不上好大学就会一无是处，马云他也不是名牌大学毕业，他也一样成为了中国的骄傲。你要相信你也是可以的，对自己要有信心。烦的时候就听听音乐，出去散散步。你加油哦，我相信你可以",
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"name": "沐晴✨",
"time_str": "3-20 15:13",
"toContent": "谢谢，你也要加油啊",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-19 08:20",
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"content": "你好，从你的描述中，你是一位特别有上进心，也知道当下需要做什么，只是对自己不够自信，怕旁人议论。我们做任何一件事可能都会有人评论，就让那些喜欢评论的人评论吧！我们管不了他们的嘴。我们只要专心学习，努力学习，做好复习，做最好的自己就可以了，学习自然会提高，祝您用高热情全身心投入学习当中。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-13 14:51",
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"content": "你好，感受到了你的焦虑。不是学习好，就什么都好。学习不好，就一无是处的。目前，重要的是缓解焦虑，放松心情，只要努力，结果随缘！\n 欢迎咨询，一起探讨！\n 祝好运！",
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"name": "刘晓波",
"time_str": "3-13 14:51",
"toContent": "谢谢老师！可我好怕最后真的只考了普通学校的结果啊，（不愿意承认自己的平庸[捂脸]）",
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"content": "压力大导致焦虑，而且出现了不合理的绝对化思维，可以通过一些放松训练和正念的方法缓解压力，学会正确面对和处理压力，调整好自己，继续向前，加油！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-13 17:34",
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"content": "孩子，不管现在是什么成绩，心里都应该有个预想的冲刺学校；成绩不算太好，应该冲刺比现在成绩高点的学校吧。需要帮助的话，私聊或预约老师哦!",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-19 21:04",
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"content": "首先时间还是有的，重要的是心态，心态平稳更重要，尤其现在网上授课个人学习的时间很多，合理做好自己的学习计划，调整自己的情绪",
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"content": "加油，别忘了高考的那一天，有将近14亿的人为你们加油助威。[拳头][拳头][拳头][拳头][拳头][拳头]",
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"name": "夜空~陌璃",
"time_str": "3-19 13:30",
"toContent": "只是我不可能了。。。。。",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 03:43",
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"content": "如果你有一些好学习的同学就和他们一起走动一些，或者你家里有能力的就花点钱报个补习班，找个老师",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-13 14:46",
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"content": "是不是心好累，看书装不进去脑袋里？玩的时候有不踏实，课堂上想努力都不能集中精神？",
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"toContent": "对的对的",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-19 13:40",
"askId": 533851,
"content": "容易的东西都不贵，所以才“难”能可贵。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-13 16:06",
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"content": "同学你好，高考虽然很重要，但考大学并不是学习的目的，往大了看只是人生的一个经历和阶段，往小了看考大学只是为了以后步入社会前积累知识的一条路径。要想不留遗憾的办法，不是说结果一定要怎样完美，而是在完成的过程中无所保留\n希望我的回复对你有用，也希望你高考顺利。",
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"content": "你好，能进入高中，说明你在中考时就已经赢了差不多一半的中学生了，那么没进入高中的学生一无是处吗？我想不是，大家各有所长。\n\n感觉你现在有点处于想学而学不进的状态，需要及时调整进入高效学习状态，让自己继续进步，高考后让自己有更多的选择，欢迎预约咨询",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-13 15:52",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师彭梅琼，你是高三的学生，对即将到来的高考充满担心，焦虑，是吗？很多同学都有这种担心，是正常的反应，保证充足的睡眠，作息时间规律，多请教老师和同学，保持良好的心态，给自己定的目标不要太大，。尽力就好",
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"content": "你即将被淘汰，成为社会底层人，干最苦最累的活，拿最少的钱，却在不可挽回注定的路上苦苦挣扎，真是让人觉得可笑！你没有看清楚的道路。我不是在反向激励你，而且告诉你能放下赶紧放下学业，做一个底层的员工也是可以快乐的！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-13 15:03",
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"content": "你好！我是壹点灵咨询师陈斌伟。\n高三的学习压力很大，感觉你在担心几个月后的事了，已经有了明显的焦虑，是吗？现实的教育体制下，特别心疼备考的学生们。\n如果需要，老师可以通过绘画帮助你缓解焦虑提升你的学习效率。",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 19:59",
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"content": "不要给自己太大的压力，放松点，尽力就好。其实除了你和你的家人真的没多少人会去关注你的成绩。你现在的成绩不太好，不代表你不可以进步，一定要记住你的人生与他人无关！每天对自己说我很好",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-19 14:16",
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"content": "你要对自己有信心，人没有十全十美的时候。人身上不可能全是优点也不可能有一大堆臭毛病。将来走向社会后希望你能成为国家、民族、家庭的脊梁。祝你身体健康，生活愉快、幸福、平安。",
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"content": "您好 我是壹点灵心理咨询师杨昕宇 看到您是一名即将高考的学生 心理很怕考的不好 很为自己将来担忧 您可以私聊联系我 我愿意帮助您",
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"content": "想要拼尽全力，那就代表你没有拼尽全力。如果你竭尽全力去做一件事情，那世界上真的没有什么事情能够困住你了，加油[拳头][拳头]",
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"content": "说得也挺对，只不过我以前可能是同学在上课老是逗我要不然我也算是中等水平，又因为家里人不关心我，还天天打压我导致从小学我就",
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"content": "我是壹点零灵心理咨询师孔令岩。不要活在别人的评价里，否则，你是为别人活，而不是为自己。",
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"content": "加油 这是畸形教育的结果。每个人都有自己选择人生的权利 成绩不是衡量人的唯一标准",
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"content": "我觉得你可以学学画妆，只要好看，学习有屁用？",
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"content": "请问一下高三二轮复习的学生一般能涨多少分了",
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"content": "这个完全是我个人看法，和一点点的小建议",
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"content": "面对是改变的开始，欢迎探讨！",
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"content": "只是我不可能了。。。。。",
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"content": "这就是你太过于紧张了吧？",
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"content": "我也好想拼尽全力",
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"content": "人活着开心最重要",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 14:16",
"askId": 533851,
"content": "谢谢您",
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"content": "不行可以报个专业啊，现在行业缺的都是专业人才（我自己就是美术生，感觉学起来也行，当然也别想简单）",
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"content": "谢谢老师！可我好怕最后真的只考了普通学校的结果啊，（不愿意承认自己的平庸[捂脸]）",
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"content": "如果你这么想你已经很平庸了 不过没关系大多数人都得接受",
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"content": "谢谢，你也要加油啊",
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"content": "谢谢您，受教了",
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"content": "高三\n现在的成绩不算太好\n总想要拼尽全力，尽管这样会让自己很累。\n我怕我要是没考上好学校，我周围的人就会说我没用，我本来就没什么长处了，要是学习还不行，就一无是处了。。。\n[大哭]",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 05:58",
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"content": "您好，亲爱的弟兄，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师王兴永。\n\n您说的话有一定的道理，文化程度不高，家庭管教又特别严，孩子性格上一般的话会比较怯懦内向。会经常检讨自己，与人交际的时候感觉自卑；或是变得顺从，缺乏创造性和主动性，合作性差。\n\n有的也会在父母面前与背后行为不一致，自我中心、胆大妄为。您小时候是不是父亲经常打你呀？\n\n父母对孩子的行为控制很严，容易使子女形成自卑、懦弱、冷漠、消极情绪，产生恐惧或焦虑、敌意或残忍的心理，容易发生不能克制的逆反、倔强、攻击和冲动行为。\n\n兄弟，您是不是现在很很沮丧？会在想所生活的意义。人到中年，工作20年，不善于与同事领导沟通，自然发展有限。相个亲还被老实的性格搅黄了，真的有点憋屈。这事搁谁身上也会感觉不好受。\n\n你看过哪吒吗？有想过改变吗？我命由我不由天。摆脱原生家庭对你的桎梏，就需要努力实践，并获得新生。但这不是一条容易走的路。\n\n我是咨询师王兴永，如果你对我的回答感兴趣，请点击我的头像，去主页关注一下，咨询有优惠，有需要欢迎随时联系我。",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 19:36",
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"content": "你好，从你的描述中，我看到了你平时不太善于表达，人际关系有点紧张或疏远。小时候爸爸管束较多，同学交往也较少。我从你的人生经历中，清晰的分析了与亲属领导同事交往情况，同时也看到了你迫切想要改变的决心。在说话前，你是否感觉怕说错话？你的性格是内向老实，老师认为很好。内向的往往做事谨慎，考虑周全。老实更是优点，人本来就是要诚实，一是一二是二，做过的事要勇于承担责任，人家姑娘很多人嫁人的条件之一就是老实可靠嘛。我觉得要改变是你的安全感和自信，只要安全感自信提高了你在任何人面感受轻松，该说的说，不该说不说，感受不到压力，边界清晰。壹点灵可以帮助你提高安全感自信，从此以后会生活的轻松愉快，同事领导关心融洽，家庭关系也会美满！祝福您会有美好的明天。",
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"time_str": "前天 19:36",
"toContent": "厉害了",
"toName": "屋檐，口和田",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 21:01",
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"content": "从幼年时期养成了内向，不善交流和表达的性格，但你和这样的自己过了几十年，你真的很不容易，也真的很伟大，一边尝试接纳自己，一边尝试为了家人改变，这一路，可不容易呀。\n 内向，外向，其实没有那么多明显的好坏之分，内向的人通常比较克制，隐忍，识大体，务实。外向的人也不见得就是人人喜欢的，有可能也强势，火气大，自我呀。\n 其实对你来说，可能更需要的是，在自己的性格倾向下，怎么跟周围的人沟通交流，以表达自己的心意吧。",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 10:13",
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"content": "我也属于性格内向的类型，小时候走路都低着头，说话不敢看着他人，现在随着年龄慢慢变大，好多了。自我调节，脸皮厚一点，勇敢说出来，就算说错也没关系，没人会在意，尝试多跟人沟通会慢慢好起来的，加油",
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"content": "你好，我也是一个女孩子处于家庭暴力下长大的。我爸好凶喜欢打人，我的手被他打疼几年了都没好，我妈逼我嫁给一个瞎子，我腿受伤了他们只要钱",
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"toContent": "大姐，你这段话让我感觉活在18世纪[捂脸]",
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"content": "我也有这种感觉，想去改变，想试着跟身边的人说话，但是不知道要说些什么，别人说的话我也不知道要怎么回应",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 20:14",
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"content": "您好，我是心理咨询师李思华，如果生活中遇到什么问题困惑，可以文字联系我，尽我所能来给你建议。",
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"content": "我也是这样，别人跟我聊天，我都完全不知道怎么接话，人家还以为我耍大牌，所以都会被人远离",
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"content": "大姐，你这段话让我感觉活在18世纪[捂脸]",
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"content": "就是说人到中年了 性格改不了",
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"content": "怕的是 没有话说",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师李捷。\n\n与人交流本质上是自我暴露。自我暴露时，如果对方接纳并认可你的自我暴露，就会跟他产生很深的连接；如果对方评判并否定你的自我暴露，就会在敞开时被伤害到。\n\n你说父亲从小管的太严，你很惧怕，可能是在很小时候就因自我暴露时被伤害到，所以就不说了。你和父亲除了一起干活很少说话，你在家里基本没有玩的好的同学，出来打工快20年没和亲戚朋友打过电话，工作上从不和领导交流，和对象父母兄弟饭桌上日常交流不会，都是把和父亲的相处模式泛化开，你已完全习惯了。你对他人的安全感过低，你能做的自我暴露就很弱。\n\n交流由浅入深有这些层次：打招呼，聊事实，聊观点，聊感受，聊自卑，聊秘密。\n\n你有没有看到你在帖子里就交流得很顺畅，你在说自己的感受，这是因为一.你心里有说的；二.你相信这里是安全的，专业的心理咨询师们不会伤害你。\n\n所以在生活中你可与他人在碰撞中逐渐去增加自己的安全感，并留心日常生活让自己有聊的内容。从打招呼开始，聊事实：“今天天气真好，阳光明媚”，聊工作，聊明星，聊娱乐等等，就是单纯的陈述事实，互相交换信息，并没有聊自己，就会感觉到一定安全感。然后，再慢慢的逐渐深入。\n\n感谢你对我的信任，希望我的回答能够帮助到你。如还有疑问，欢迎私信和我交流。",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师孙姗姗\n看到你的故事，我感受到了原生家庭的环境对你的个人学习，工作，恋爱，人际沟通交往都带来了深远的影响。“这种性格真的害了我一生，困惑一生。有时候想改，都不知道病根在哪 ，不知道是什么病 ”，从这段文字中，你对自身是有一定觉察的，发现就是疗愈，想要改变什么时候都不晚，只是这种状态陪伴了您几十年，改变难度大一些，但只要下定决心想要调整，就一定有上升的空间。\n如果你愿意，可以来我的主页，看我之前分享的文章《长大后，我们要学会与原生家庭握手言和》，或许可以找到自己的影子及解决问题的方法。\n希望能给你一定的启发和帮助，祝福你。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 09:58",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵平台咨询师张付领，从你的描述当中得知，你的原生家庭对你的影响，让你的性格比较内向，偏激，人际交往的技巧，你太欠缺了，可以多学习一些人际交往的技巧，这样你的生活会有极大的改观，一定要去努力，去改变所有的事情都是自己争取出来的，性格改不了，但是讲话的方式和外貌可以改变你的一个极大的改变，可以改变你的人生，改变你的婚姻，改变你的现在工作状态，一定要改变，希望能帮到你，有需要私聊",
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"toContent": "就是说人到中年了 性格改不了",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 11:02",
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"content": "你好，不知你发现没有，从你写下的东西来看，你是有思想并且逻辑思维表达能力都是满清晰的，而且相信当你写完这篇帖子时，内心的东西就觉得是释放出一些的。所以这就是说我们需要将自己内心的东西表达的，你已经开始做了。\n那至于现实中，你与人交流会有很多阻碍，这种阻碍是一种叫做恐惧感的感受伴随着的，所以你可以想想你怕的是什么？可以交流一下",
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"name": "李光",
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"toContent": "怕的是 没有话说",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 19:49",
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"content": "阿斯伯格综合征 没办法的 要么学会伪装 要么用别的方面弥补 如果你各方面都很平庸 那你也要找到适合自己的生活 关于相亲 没什么女的真的喜欢老实人，除非对方跟你是一种人，那么也许会看到你的好，加油哦，其实现在社会都很开放了，无论是哪种诉求都可以找到发泄的出口。",
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"name": "禁止评论哦～",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 11:34",
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"content": "您好！\n对您的遭遇很同情，不过既然今天您可以在这个平台上倾诉，有可能是您改变的一个契机。\n建议您做一个长程心理咨询，侧重于个人人格的完善、认知改变及沟通技巧学习。\n我是壹点灵心理咨询师韩红岩，希望我的建议可以帮到您。祝福您。",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 12:46",
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"content": "阅读，写作，先从虚拟空间开始，不过说实话，成年人，对外交换不是很重要，关键是内在的充实。我是一个健谈的人，但是一年忙到头回家见朋友，一样是无从说起的，因为这段时间发生太多事情，每个人都在改变，并不是你表达能力出了问题",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:27",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵咨询师黄智音。\n如果你是安静内向的人，也期待能找到另一半，你可以试着去找一位和你一样安静的人，另外不知道你是否有尝试线上相亲交友网站，无论几岁的男孩子都很抢手的，你可以试试看，做一个安静的美男子。",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 09:56",
"askId": 534182,
"content": "你跟我是一样的，和人聊天经常组织不好语言手足无措，渐渐的害怕和人交往，就算和熟人也没话可说，我觉得别人和我在一起都很无聊都不想和我在一起，一直让我很无助，渐渐的我只喜欢一个人待，我小时候我爸脾气也特别不好",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 10:49",
"askId": 534182,
"content": "您好，看得出你有很强的改变的意愿，由于原生家庭的种种原因导致了你内向的性格，找到那个诱因，克服它一步一步的做出改变，学习好的人际交往技巧，相信你一定可以走出来的，有需要可以联系我，希望能帮到你",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 10:36",
"askId": 534182,
"content": "你的这些表现来自于你过去的成长经历，小时候爸爸强势严格，造就了你的恐惧和不敢说话。所以你现在的表现只是过去的一份经验的表达",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 12:48",
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"content": "会关心别人，但是要更关注自己，只有了解自己的需要，才知道聊什么话题可以有帮助，可以带来快乐，如果没有话题，那就阅读吧",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 17:53",
"askId": 534182,
"content": "你可以找个山区去修行，反正你这样的性格要钱也没有用，找个山搭个棚，说不定哪天还能出名呢？希望你能接纳我建议！！",
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"time_str": "昨天 17:53",
"toContent": "牛逼卧槽",
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"content": "这种问题，如果有能力还是逃出原生家庭，要不然基本无解，我也是跟你一样的问题，因为从小你的家庭就固化你了。",
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"content": "我见过有些女生，真的好像耍大牌啊，太以自我为中心了，以为那是不卑不亢，，，虽然我也好不到哪去",
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"content": "心的自由才是真正的自由！您好！我的壹点灵的心理咨询师严敏花，如果你愿意可以联系我。",
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"content": "性格内向老实困惑我几十年了 一直到了中年还是老样子。性格从小就内向加上父亲管我太严了 对他有种惧怕，除了一起干活很少说话。在家里基本没有玩的好的同学。为什么我出来打工快20年了 ",
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"content": "这个时候谁没有压力呀？关键看谁能装，装得没有压力你气势就赢了一半儿，另一半儿看能力发挥。",
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"content": "加油 阳光女孩祝你考上理想大学 不要紧张 不要给自己太大压力 好好复习 相信自己加油 加油[微笑][微笑]",
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"content": "羡慕你的同学是必然的，因为他们现在比你有优势！首先，我们不是跟他们拼，他们考的好，不代表我们考不好；其次，如果我们每天总是沉浸在这样的担心中，我们必然考不好，我们不努力也会考不好，何不专注的去复习，尽自己能力去看书、学习，把自己最好的状态展现出来，自己就是赢家；最后，客观评估自己的能力，设定一个蹦一蹦可以够到的目标，而且现在一本、二本、三本、专科、专升本这么多，本科教育基本是普及化的情况下，上大学不是问题。",
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"content": "我今年已经工作了，当年在高考的时候跟你一样很慌，而且那个时候我的成绩中等，很焦虑，但是考试当天意外的我没有失眠睡的很好，现在想想，高考那几天只是那个时候我们最重要的事，而且现在学校很多，可以选择，所以不要慌，认真对待是好的，但是要放松，总会过去，期待大学生活吧！",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师马亚萍。\n我们说条条大路通罗马，心态放好，一切事情尽心尽力就好!加油，相信你行的。\n感谢您对我的信任，希望我的回答能够帮助到您。如还有疑问，欢迎预约我的咨询，私信和我交流我们一起共同探讨。",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师沙彩虹。\n我理解你，我的工作很大部分就是帮助高考压力的学生进行缓解压力。\n可以私聊我，给你更多指导。\n感谢您对我的信任，希望我的回答能够帮助到您。\n如果还有疑问，欢迎私信我和我交流。",
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"content": "您好，我是咨询师李思华，如果在生活中遇到什么困惑的事情，可以文字咨询我，尽我所能给您建议帮您缓解。",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师李芯羿\n考试当临，哪怕做了太多的准备，都心理紧张。回想当年我参加社工师考试的时候也是这样的心情，书看了N遍，题做了老多，还是觉得遗漏的很多，紧张一直伴随，当我拿到试卷的一刹那手都在抖。越到后面心情就越平静，后来明白自己吓自己，因为自己按照自己的节奏该复习的都复习了，事在人为，成事在天，自己不给自己留遗憾，一道题一道题的答，就顺利过关了。所以准高考生，我分享我以前的考试经历，紧张是每个人都会出现的心理，越复习越发现自己漏洞越多，心越慌，这个时候我们不妨按下暂停键，梳理一下自己已经复习了的，看看自己已经掌握了的，给自己一个大大的赞扬，我已经很棒了，学了那么多，剩下的都不是问题了。希望我的解答能对你有所帮助，老师一直都在，欢迎私聊我。",
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"content": "我以前听别人总是说高考不是唯一的出路 我也一直认为 其实有些人生真的不是只有高考才可以谱写的 所以我当初放弃了重点高中重点班的学生身份 提前一年步入了社会 对于学生而言 真的是足够舒适了 不用每天起早贪黑的学习 可是我最终还是选择了参加高考 因为我觉得我们不该在拼搏的年纪选择安逸 也许我们之前一直荒废学业 但是兴许拼一拼还是能有起色的 在还没有到最后的时候真的不要轻易放弃 高考见证的不是你高中三年的过程 而是一个高考成绩 所以说如果还有机会的话 一定不要放弃 我如果当初没离开学校 可能和同学一样都是直接一本的 然而现在颓废如此 所以相信自己吧 还没到放弃的时候就拼一把 稳住 我们能赢",
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"content": "我没有参加任何考试，但是高考真的会慌么？这种慌，对人体是一种好处么？如果产生了坏处，让人不舒服，怎么办呢？教育界会负责么？该不会是在享受同学们慌张的过程呢？教育界把太多东西强加学生去学习。就不说啥了，如果你觉得慌，请停下来休息一下吧，太累了，我觉得太苦学生太累了，正常考试，不要累，不要伤害自己，没有压力，能考多少分就考多少分吧？！不会因为分数差距而影响整个人生的，我是这样认为的，放心随便考，当玩一样去考试，不要考试当回事，平时一样做题就好了，考多少分都是未来都是被规划好命中注定的命运，多少分都是那个命运，脱离不了。",
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"toContent": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师李芯羿。\n我朋友的孩子高中恋爱考试失利，复读，考的中医，孩子的朋友都考上的清北，但三年后，朋友的孩子自己发展自己的强项英语，在大学参加社团，被学校保送澳门学研，毕业后顺利进入美国一流的生物研究机构，清北的同学反而不如她。所以曾经的错误不代表未来，眼前的各种得力也不代表将来，哥哥，周遭的人都说自己考不上大学，那是他们并没有看见你的全部，你自己才是最了解自己的人，付出了多少努力，做好当下，让自己走好当下的每一步，其他的过眼烟云。希望我的解答对你有所帮助。",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师李芯羿。\n我朋友的孩子高中恋爱考试失利，复读，考的中医，孩子的朋友都考上的清北，但三年后，朋友的孩子自己发展自己的强项英语，在大学参加社团，被学校保送澳门学研，毕业后顺利进入美国一流的生物研究机构，清北的同学反而不如她。所以曾经的错误不代表未来，眼前的各种得力也不代表将来，哥哥，周遭的人都说自己考不上大学，那是他们并没有看见你的全部，你自己才是最了解自己的人，付出了多少努力，做好当下，让自己走好当下的每一步，其他的过眼烟云。希望我的解答对你有所帮助。",
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"toContent": "我跟他们都一样了啊 我离开学校一年了 真的足足有一年了 即使我以前很成功 到现在的我真的不值得与她相匹配 我真的好害怕 万一我考不上怎么办 我除了参加高考改变命运 我也是别无选择 我后悔我以前所做的任何决定 到此时此刻 我真的只能硬着头皮的去参加高考 我的同学每天朝九晚五的学习 而我简直不及他们的万分之一 我真的不知道我还有什么意义 到底值不值得去参加高考",
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"content": "高考是最公平的一场考试 如果想要改变命运 就只能一味地拼搏 考上好的大学 对于在校生而言 他们也是有很多发泄的地方 也有老师的陪伴 家人的祝福 于我而言就是如果考不上大学 我便一无所有 得过且过的上几年班 然后回老家相亲结婚 我感觉那种生活不是我所期盼的 我真的只能以高考来终结这一切 但是我真的好迷茫 我感觉自己没有能力去跟他们拼了 以前我尚且有一个扎实的基础 可是离开了一年后 我感觉我就是一个废人 天天还想着跟他们争 是不是有一点儿愚蠢",
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"toContent": "羡慕你的同学是必然的，因为他们现在比你有优势！首先，我们不是跟他们拼，他们考的好，不代表我们考不好；其次，如果我们每天总是沉浸在这样的担心中，我们必然考不好，我们不努力也会考不好，何不专注的去复习，尽自己能力去看书、学习，把自己最好的状态展现出来，自己就是赢家；最后，客观评估自己的能力，设定一个蹦一蹦可以够到的目标，而且现在一本、二本、三本、专科、专升本这么多，本科教育基本是普及化的情况下，上大学不是问题。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 12:07",
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"content": "最坏的结果其实我也想过了 大不了就彻底的离开这个世界 我真的感觉这一年浑浑噩噩的 真的不再值得我留恋什么了 我虽然知道我真的不一定能改变什么 是不是能考上大学 但我不得不孤注一掷 我很害怕 也很焦虑 同时也很懊悔 但我真的不想回到我之前的生活 出来一年天天在打工 虽然他们对我很好 但我真的不愿意持续下去 毫无意义 于我而言如果终要回到原来的岗位 倒不如轰轰烈烈的离开 亦或是悄无声息的离去",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 11:41",
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"content": "我跟他们都一样了啊 我离开学校一年了 真的足足有一年了 即使我以前很成功 到现在的我真的不值得与她相匹配 我真的好害怕 万一我考不上怎么办 我除了参加高考改变命运 我也是别无选择 我后悔我以前所做的任何决定 到此时此刻 我真的只能硬着头皮的去参加高考 我的同学每天朝九晚五的学习 而我简直不及他们的万分之一 我真的不知道我还有什么意义 到底值不值得去参加高考",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-20 17:42",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师张学萍。\n高考在即要保持一颗平常心哦，考前尽量不要想太多，给自己太多压力，否则心情就会更加紧张的。\n \n紧张的时候可以做做深呼吸，听听轻松的音乐，去操场散散步。\n要相信自己的能力，自己一定可以的，只要充分发挥出自己的水平就可以了。希望我的回答能够帮助到你",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 14:16",
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"content": "你好，高三确实是亚历山大，特别是像你这样上进心强的学生，紧张焦虑的情绪可能时常会有，今年的疫情增加了不确定性，更易紧张。如果我们感到较大的焦虑，会影响学习专注力，导致不能安心学习，如果自行努力不能缓解，可以向壹点灵寻求帮助。",
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"name": "于士章",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 11:43",
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"content": "我可是高二就辍学的学生啊 虽然是应届高考生 然而此时此刻真的怂的不行 我怕我万一考不上怎么办 万一一切都改变不了怎么办 也许我以前比较成功 可是现在真的颓废的不行 我并不觉得能考好 但又很羡慕我的同学 我真的好迷啊",
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"name": "青春恍喏浮兮ω",
"time_str": "3-18 11:43",
"toContent": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师李芯羿。\n看了你的留言，能感受到内心的纠结。你能谈谈万一考不上最坏的结果是什么吗？",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 12:19",
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"content": "我感觉你压力大，慌，追不上分数，我认为这样的感觉非常不舒服，非常不好，非常不舒服，干脆别去争了在家好好休息吧，对不起自己的身体。以后这些事情都会不重要，没有意义，超越他们也都会消失，好好休息，再见。",
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"name": "神.绝望之力",
"time_str": "3-18 12:19",
"toContent": "谢谢你 我要早点儿听到这句话 我就不会离开学校了 十分感谢",
"toName": "青春恍喏浮兮ω",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 11:13",
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"content": "没事决定你人生一切的时刻到了，考的好高大上，考的不好就不高大上了，努力学习争取第一，加油，我相信你不会被高考这个决定一的命运的时刻压倒，那种压力绝对绝对压倒不了你，除非你没考上。加油奥利给",
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"name": "神.绝望之力",
"time_str": "3-18 11:13",
"toContent": "我可是高二就辍学的学生啊 虽然是应届高考生 然而此时此刻真的怂的不行 我怕我万一考不上怎么办 万一一切都改变不了怎么办 也许我以前比较成功 可是现在真的颓废的不行 我并不觉得能考好 但又很羡慕我的同学 我真的好迷啊",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 10:54",
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"content": "高考在即，慌都是正常的哦。\n接纳自己这份心情，带着这份心情去迎接考试。\n不管结果如何，你已经努力过。\n希望我的回复，对你有所帮助",
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"name": "苏维维",
"time_str": "3-18 10:54",
"toContent": "我是属于高二辍学的那种学生 原来是在重点高中重点班 现在也只是有一个高考机会 但是我真的担心我真的可能上不了大学了 不仅我哥那么说 我周遭所有人都那么说 我知道我高二的时候犯了一个不可弥补的过错 但我真的不知道我该做什么才能弥补 眼睁睁看着昔日同学班平五百多 我真的迷的不行 我不知道我还有没有跟他们竞争高考的必要 我也不知道除了高考我还能做什么去改变现状 以前的我已经走错了一步 所以这一次我不知道我是不是应该走下去 每天都感觉自己心力交瘁 又要逼自己努力 仿佛高二的日子 但我却不配以前的生活 我该怎么办啊",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 11:17",
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"content": "同学，你的情况建议做咨询，快速调整你的紧张情绪，专心投入到复习中，并在高考时能有能力稳定情绪，发挥实力。非几句话能帮到你",
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"name": "付莉",
"time_str": "3-18 11:17",
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"answerCreateTime": "今天 11:49",
"askId": 535995,
"content": "其实呀，你以后的出路和你大学学的东西可能不一定用的上，都是保住工作的好事。最重要的就是，三观的建立，朋友。独立的能力。",
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"name": "冬天",
"time_str": "今天 11:49",
"toContent": "上大学，顺其自然，",
"toName": "冬天",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 11:55",
"askId": 535995,
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师李芯羿。\n看了你的留言，能感受到内心的纠结。你能谈谈万一考不上最坏的结果是什么吗？",
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"name": "李芯羿",
"time_str": "3-18 11:55",
"toContent": "最坏的结果其实我也想过了 大不了就彻底的离开这个世界 我真的感觉这一年浑浑噩噩的 真的不再值得我留恋什么了 我虽然知道我真的不一定能改变什么 是不是能考上大学 但我不得不孤注一掷 我很害怕 也很焦虑 同时也很懊悔 但我真的不想回到我之前的生活 出来一年天天在打工 虽然他们对我很好 但我真的不愿意持续下去 毫无意义 于我而言如果终要回到原来的岗位 倒不如轰轰烈烈的离开 亦或是悄无声息的离去",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 11:35",
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"content": "困难是有很多哦。\n但是目标只有一个，盯住这个目标，不断的向目标靠近，就会有所收获。\n不要让情绪影响了自己",
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"name": "苏维维",
"time_str": "3-18 11:35",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 12:25",
"askId": 535995,
"content": "谢谢你 我要早点儿听到这句话 我就不会离开学校了 十分感谢",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 19:52",
"askId": 535995,
"content": "高考就是呵呵，其实高考没啥用，往后的发展不是靠高考决定的",
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"name": "禁止评论哦～",
"time_str": "昨天 19:52",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 20:40",
"askId": 535995,
"content": "面对压力没有勇气，选择直接弃权。想改变这样的状态",
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"content": "上不了大学就不上找个喜欢的事情，做一辈子_",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 21:09",
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"content": "当时离婚，他净身出户，虽看起来你是出气了。可是你一定积累了很多的委屈难过。但实际上是你内心也会给自己否定。不清不楚，不明不白的就输给了三儿。\n \n这次他回来，还是不明所以然。虽然说一家为孩子。但为自己更重要啊。你的心情不好，怎么能对孩子有好的影响？你心里憋屈，不满，甚至是有些愤怒，当然要表达。当然会忍不住的，要和他吵架。这个都可以理解。\n\n所以你需要系统的心理咨询才能帮你捋清楚，搞明白，你老公外面为什么会有三儿，他为什么要回来 ，你为什么心里总是郁郁难平。不能让自己再输了。特别不能输给赌气，输给别人对你的否定。你会有光鲜亮丽精彩的人生。\n\n欢迎有需要，随时联系我。如果你给我的回答感兴趣，可以点击我的头像，去主页关注一下，咨询有优惠。",
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"content": "你从北京义无反顾的来到成都，足以说明你对老公的看好，裸婚、住出租屋到有了自己的房子证实你们爱情基础的厚重和你对这段看似辛苦实则美好的幸福时光的眷恋！\n可是，后来老公出轨，他净身出户，回归后你接受了他，可生活似乎无法回归到原来的美好，尽管他对你比原来更好，你却借机跟他吵架。\n出轨对婚姻是一个重大事件！尤其对你们自由恋爱、白手起家、患难与共的夫妻，它给你造成了心理创伤、让你对婚姻中的爱人丧失信任，因为在你想赢小三好胜心驱使下，你不甘心老公竟然会出轨！\n通常人们在心理创伤疗愈后才会面对今后崭新的生活，你可寻求在专业心理咨询师的帮助下进行这个过程！",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师王兴永。\n\n处在这样的婚姻关系当中的纠葛中，我能理解您当下的心情。\n\n不过从你的婚变过程来看的话，你在事情上总是后知后觉，这也充分说明了你的单纯和善良。你有没有了解过他为了离婚愿意净身出户的动力？还有您说不知什么原因的，他回来了。爱得不清，过得糊涂。\n\n当他回来的时候，重新接纳他的动机。为了孩子，为了好胜，为了家；独独忘了为了自己。你不先爱自己，不觉得被先生所爱，那你们的婚姻动力在哪里？\n\n为什么发自心底的想离婚？你需要给到自己一个明确的答案。",
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"toContent": "离婚是我提的，因为我家大的经济都在我手里，如果他不净身出户打官司的话，他自己家人估计都的打他，他爷爷奶奶也可能被气死，所以我们协商不告诉任何人，他净身出户！",
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"content": "家庭和婚姻有时像一条小船，晨出暮归，荡漾在生活的大海上。不会总是风平浪静，波澜不惊。我们也不能因它经历了风雨，就丢了信心。几乎每个人都听过“不忘初心，方得始终”，却少有人知道“初心易得，始终难守”。",
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"content": "小三肯定发现他没钱是个穷光蛋要甩了他[呲牙]。",
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"toContent": "小三硬气的很，她给我打电话说的她是拆二代，最后我了解到是那种住在简装安置房的“拆二代”",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 23:08",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "如果你没有充足的理由放弃，就留下一个家庭吧",
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"time_str": "3-17 23:08",
"toContent": "放弃对不起孩子，不放弃违背自己内心！",
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"content": "你好，你在整篇帖子中梳理了一下你和你老公从相识到现在的事件以及中间的爱恨情仇。我也跟着你文字的节奏，感受了一把你的内心，所以我觉察到一个事情，就是你会说你重新接受老公是为了孩子以及报复战胜小三，现在离婚迷茫也是为了孩子，那你自己呢？我意思是你如果为了孩子，你可以再找一个好男人，或者说有条件的话，没有父亲其实孩子也可健康成长，这点从你说你们白手起家到落地生根这个过程就可看出你有这个能力。当然我不是说你应该这么做，我是说做法有很多种可你为什么选择了这一种？\n所以我认为，大概是你用为孩子等说法，掩盖了心中其实对老公还有情但又无法原谅他作出这种事的冲突感。所以就又造成了一种新的心理冲突",
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"name": "李光",
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"toContent": "我看过很多父母离异的家庭的小孩，很多都有问题，我怕，我离开后他过得不好！因为我现在要离婚必须放弃儿子！不然他不同意！",
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"content": "通过您的描述，能够感受到你为了这个家庭付出的真心，相信你也经历过很多的痛苦，并且为这些痛苦也想了很多的办法，克服了很多困难，走过来非常不容易。\n\n那现在面临的情况是，您的老公现在对你也挺好，同时你又想和他离婚，目前貌似处于一种矛盾当中，不知道如何去办，那现在邀请你思考一下，什么样的一种生活方式是你所期待的？假如现在你实现了你所期待的一个期待和设想，那再回头来看看，现在这种状况对您来说意味着什么？你的对象做成什么样是你所可以原谅的？",
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"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师刘明伟。\n\n而从您的描述过程当中，看出您现在的婚姻状态，属于破镜重圆的一种。婚姻问题，准备我们人生的重大事件应该慎重对待，不论是结婚复婚、还是离婚。是否离婚我想您会做出自己的决定的，最终的选择应该使我们的内心得以平静。\n\n感谢您对我的信任，希望我的回答能够帮助到您。如还有疑问，欢迎私信和我交流",
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"content": "丈夫出轨离婚，后又回来，你又不乐意了，在整个事件中，你认为错的是他不是你，虽然是你出气了，但你还是不甘心，就好比镜子裂了一条缝，怎么也复不了原，它就好比你心里的一根刺，时刻在提醒你老公对你的伤害，虽然你和他复合，却始终没有放过自己，现在你要思考的是如何反思你们的婚姻，如何走下去，如何去修补，因为你们的感情还在。",
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"content": "让我猜猜他回来的原因 ，第一经济压力。商量和三结婚他又得花一笔钱彩礼，贷款买一套房子?和三生小孩，又是一笔开销。第二，他离婚还有一个儿子，三担心你的儿子分走她儿子一半爱。第三，他怕以后你儿子长大了不认这个出轨的父亲?? 但我觉得问题大方向出在三身上。",
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"name": "屋檐，口和田",
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"toContent": "我想说三也是离婚的，三有2个娃！",
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"content": "您好，感受到你们婚姻基础挺好，你的包容力很强，能给老公一次机会，这已经表明了你内心对他的爱，有时候感觉不太能接受他，也许有一些压抑的情绪在内心，假如不方便说出来可以写出来，梳理一遍自己的情绪就会明确你到底想要什么。感谢信任，希望对您有所帮助！",
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"name": "库俊红",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 08:39",
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"content": "你不是心理有问题，你是看不到自己的问题，也看不到这段关系的问题。出轨的事情你都没有搞清楚，你就盲目地离婚、复婚，现在又想盲目的离婚。在这种情况下你又觉得小孩是问题，小孩只想说:我跟谁都行，只要别把我扯来扯去让我必须选一个。",
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"name": "苏西格",
"time_str": "3-17 08:39",
"toContent": "我们离婚是私下的，几乎没人知道，孩子更不知道！我给的理由是要玩或是真爱，请离了婚放心的去！",
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"content": "思考三个关于自己的问题：\n1.老公出轨，自己有什么责任？\n2.老公回归，他对你的好，是你需要的那个好吗？\n3.接受老公回归，你表明了自己需要什么吗？\n希望我的提问能帮到您！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 22:58",
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"content": "想解脱很简单 把他出轨的事公之于众 受了委屈没必要往自己肚子里咽 主要问题还是在孩子 孩子虽小也要跟他说清楚 其实有的时候孩子要通透很多 沟通到位 理解万岁",
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"name": "想成为一个善良的人",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 09:00",
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"content": "婚姻是神圣的，是上帝配合的！“一生一世丶不离不弃”我想每一对新婚夫妻的誓言都是如此。那么就不要轻忽，回到爱的起点宁可舍己也要挽回。对婚姻幸福和后代都是有益！",
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"name": "见证幸福",
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"toContent": "我有时也想：我自己和谁都是过，可能对方还没他对我和孩子好。孩子就不一样啊，父母的爱是没人能代的！所以我很矛盾。",
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"content": "暂停一段时间，出去旅游放松一下，回来如果还是觉得想离婚，那就离吧，没有必要勉强在一段违和的关系里",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 19:42",
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"content": "小三硬气的很，她给我打电话说的她是拆二代，最后我了解到是那种住在简装安置房的“拆二代”",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 20:47",
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"content": "两情相悦本来是最美好的爱情，既然是他背叛在先，那就跟他打离婚官司争夺孩子的抚养权。",
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"answerCreateTime": "今天 07:28",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "现在年纪大了，真的觉得是自己当初年轻，太傻",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 23:25",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "放弃对不起孩子，不放弃违背自己内心！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 22:10",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "婚姻是座围城，主要在于自己。",
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"name": "刘爱春",
"time_str": "3-14 22:10",
"toContent": "嗯嗯嗯",
"toName": "熊大",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-19 22:26",
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"content": "孩子还比较小，离婚了，又能怎么样？，又要找个男人，又结婚，然后呢，又离婚，这么折腾的夫妻也不少，看清楚人性把，好胜心理，你内心极其矛盾，对立，需要冷静下来，先分床，不分家，清净一下，把自己恶劣情绪臭脾气，先消消火气。你现在，头脑太发热了，有点太疯狂了。越这个时刻，越要警告自己，要犯重大严重错误了，又头脑发晕了。你被自己内心自私的邪恶的阴毒的力量，邪灵操控了。你魔鬼的一面，被释放出来了，本来很好的家庭，很完美的孩子，快变孤儿了，你真是太对不起小孩子了，为了自己什么好胜心理，全是自私自利。你太黑暗邪恶了，你为了自己幸福快乐，要抛弃孩子，和孩子的父亲。你父母当年，是不是也有过离婚，天天打闹的经历。你又重复父母的这个故事。ss一三零五一七三四八二零微信，围城，家庭小社会，修练吧！人生九九八十一难，慢慢来，急燥病，狂燥病，现代人生活节奏太快了，去大自然里玩一玩，把肉体身心冷静下来吧。或者回父母身边住些日子，",
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"name": "愿健康快乐到永永远远",
"time_str": "3-19 22:26",
"toContent": "邪教？",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:40",
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"content": "这个事得重头捋。关于上一次他有小三，他有小三这件事的发生，代表着你们的关系在那之前已经出了很大的问题。不信你可以回忆一下。他出轨后回来也并非是你胜利。而是小三一旦破坏了你老公的家庭，她有负罪感。导致了他们最终的分手。这是俄狄浦斯情结的一个走向而已。你如果有兴趣可以关注一下这个女人，她下一个男人也会是有家庭的。一旦对方因为她而离婚，她就会陷入巨大的愧疚感，从而让两个人感情破裂。而老公呢？我相信是个好人，只是你们需要有这样的耐心去解决掉眼下关系的问题。当然，如果你觉得老公无可救药，争夺抚养权是你现在需要考虑去做的。我看了你的文字，知道你不舍得这份感情，所以作为咨询师，我的建议是先从修复两个人的关系入手。",
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"name": "张喆",
"time_str": "3-14 21:40",
"toContent": "小三也是因为老公出轨离婚的！反正我觉得能当小三的人肯定不怎么善良",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:33",
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"content": "你给我回复的意思我给你反馈一下你看是不是这样。\n就是你否定了我说的你对他还有感情的说法，确定你现在对他没有任何眷恋，只有对孩子心理健康成长的担心，对吗？\n如果是的话，首先我想说，假如你们离婚关于孩子争夺权的问题牵扯到很多方面，这个可能是律师的工作范围，会比我们更能让你清晰。而我作为心理咨询师能告诉你的就是，孩子在大约6岁以后，单亲的影响就很小了，就算在6岁之前，也有方法去弥补这个单亲问题。那最重要不是这个，是你们现在这样子，才是对孩子肯定是不好的。因为家长对于孩子心理成长会从3个同等重要的方面去影响。即父亲与孩子的关系，母亲与孩子的关系，和父母之间的关系。",
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"name": "李光",
"time_str": "3-14 21:33",
"toContent": "现在他对我比之前更好，只是我单方面感觉不爱他了，因为我们最开始结婚就是因为爱情！不爱他是我心底的想法，也没表现在平时的生活中！出轨那次其实已经拿了离婚证，签了协议房产，儿子都归我，从法律上是可以赢，但是我心里能接受的是和平分手，不想撕破脸，毕竟曾经爱过！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-20 14:45",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师李凌云老师。\n你接受老公回头的原因，不是因为你爱他，而是好胜，证明自己战胜了小三。所以这段时间，即便老公有改变，你也不快乐。所以我能理解你找茬吵架离婚的心情。为你你自己的生活，你的快乐和幸福，你孩子的生活，孩子未来的快乐，现在你做选择需要更慎重，如何才能保障自己和孩子最大的利益，如何才能为你自己和孩子营造一个快乐的生活环境。这是你需要重新考虑的。\n如果你觉得还需要进一步的帮助，欢迎你通过壹点灵联系我。\n您的私人心理顾问李凌云——专注领域：情绪管理 亲子教养 婚恋家庭 生涯发展",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 21:57",
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"content": "你好，你跟自由恋爱，为了在一起，你从北京过来，结婚生活真的很辛苦，付出了很多。到条件好了很多，丈夫有外遇，给你的内心带来了痛苦，我看到了你的坚强，付出。丈夫回归后，你的内心不能原谅他，而理智告诉自己好像离不开他，特别为了需要和他在一起。需要觉察内心深处的认知情绪，以往父母对婚姻有无相关的认识，解决这内心冲突就可以了。丈夫出轨，暴露了婚姻中存在的问题，如果我们好好沟通，去发现问题，解决问题未必是件坏事。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 12:43",
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"content": "人在情绪中的时候，千万不要做决定。此外，离婚并不是解决你和老公问题（夫妻沟通方式、情绪管理、原生家庭认知问题…）的办法，问题还在那里。你还在这么年轻，大概率你应该还要走入新的感情或婚姻，如果你对婚姻、对男性的认知、行为模式没有做出改变（认知的升级），大概率还会在同一个地方跌倒。当然，在这段婚姻中，你老公可能是主要过错方，你一心一意为这个家庭，为孩子。但是，也希望你能好好爱自己。",
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"name": "王翠芹",
"time_str": "3-18 12:43",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:44",
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"content": "现在他对我比之前更好，只是我单方面感觉不爱他了，因为我们最开始结婚就是因为爱情！不爱他是我心底的想法，也没表现在平时的生活中！出轨那次其实已经拿了离婚证，签了协议房产，儿子都归我，从法律上是可以赢，但是我心里能接受的是和平分手，不想撕破脸，毕竟曾经爱过！",
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"name": "匿名",
"time_str": "3-14 21:44",
"toContent": "他这次回来没准就是坑你财产的",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 20:54",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师史新慧。\n老公出轨对你造成了很多伤害，这需要很长时间来修复，重新建立信任。你内心还有怨恨，还有委屈，这些要慢慢化解，离婚不一定是最好的解决办法。\n\n如果你愿意，可以私聊我，或者预约我的咨询。",
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"name": "史新慧",
"time_str": "3-14 20:54",
"toContent": "是的，感觉之前的事情骗了我，我不能完全相信他，感觉自己不爱他了",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 22:33",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "建议你多思考一下，到底是不爱你老公了还是过不了他曾经出轨的坎呢？\n其实，你既然可以接受他重新回归家庭，并且你老公对你比以前更好，那么，你们的婚姻是可以有个新的开始的。\n为什么不可以了呢？也许这一点需要你好好思考。",
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"name": "韩红岩",
"time_str": "3-14 22:33",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 22:06",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "他回来了反而你又想报复他似的嫌弃，这是恶性循环。对孩子的成长非常不好。先冷静下来，可以先分房睡，你们都那么爱孩子，为什么不在这个共识上好好经营这个家呢？在抱怨中生活的人是很难幸福的，加油个人拙见",
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"answerCreateTime": "今天 05:09",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "就算离婚了，孩子他爸依然是他爸爸，定个协议保证就算离婚，对孩子的陪伴规划，你不开心孩子也会有所察觉的。。[doge]向来劝分劝离，耶，去寻寻第二春?心里有疙瘩真的能在一起吗？",
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"name": "屋檐，口和田",
"time_str": "今天 05:09",
"toContent": "我觉得你的想法我可以尝试和他谈谈，我估计他不同意",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 19:58",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "这都能出轨 所以说什么义无反顾就是傻的 人一定要选对自己好的方案 人家当初就是综合考虑和你在一起的 这种人留着过年吗 当然如果为了孩子还是不用离婚 只要保持貌合神离就行了",
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"name": "禁止评论哦～",
"time_str": "昨天 19:58",
"toContent": "现在年纪大了，真的觉得是自己当初年轻，太傻",
"toName": "熊大",
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"content": "您好，你们的家庭基础其实很牢靠的，虽然他犯过错误但是他也真是到了自身得错误，你也选择了原谅他，何不给他一个机会呢，如果是最近又发生了什么事情让你心情不好可以找老师聊聊",
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"toContent": "最近没有发生啥事，就之前出轨的事，我觉得他骗了我，我不能完全信任他，感觉不爱了。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 19:39",
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"content": "离婚是我提的，因为我家大的经济都在我手里，如果他不净身出户打官司的话，他自己家人估计都的打他，他爷爷奶奶也可能被气死，所以我们协商不告诉任何人，他净身出户！",
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"toContent": "当时离婚，他净身出户，虽看起来你是出气了。可是你一定积累了很多的委屈难过。但实际上是你内心也会给自己否定。不清不楚，不明不白的就输给了三儿。\n \n这次他回来，还是不明所以然。虽然说一家为孩子。但为自己更重要啊。你的心情不好，怎么能对孩子有好的影响？你心里憋屈，不满，甚至是有些愤怒，当然要表达。当然会忍不住的，要和他吵架。这个都可以理解。\n\n所以你需要系统的心理咨询才能帮你捋清楚，搞明白，你老公外面为什么会有三儿，他为什么要回来 ，你为什么心里总是郁郁难平。不能让自己再输了。特别不能输给赌气，输给别人对你的否定。你会有光鲜亮丽精彩的人生。\n\n欢迎有需要，随时联系我。如果你给我的回答感兴趣，可以点击我的头像，去主页关注一下，咨询有优惠。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:11",
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"content": "可能需要分辨一下感觉不爱背后的原因，是一种报复的心态还是自己对爱情有洁癖，或是其他的原因。\n\n如果您需要进一步的帮助，欢迎私信我与我交流。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 15:11",
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"content": "改变对方及环境有时很难，试着改变自己从内心认识到行动。居高临下就有全局思考！争取婚姻的完整和良好关系是留给孩子一生最大的产业、财富！",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 17:56",
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"content": "我要是你老公就激怒你，让你拿刀砍我，然后把你弄到精神病院，关你一辈子！你现在自己神经不正常，你没有感觉到？这和爱不爱没有关系了",
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"time_str": "昨天 17:56",
"toContent": "他激怒不了我，他冒火只会自己砍自己，说他不会活了，跳楼之类的话！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-19 20:59",
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"content": "你心理想要什么呢，自由恋爱想必你们也是有感情的，内心想离婚的理由是因为真的不爱了不想这样过下去，还是内心过不了自己的坎",
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"toContent": "内心有疙瘩",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:22",
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"content": "我看过很多父母离异的家庭的小孩，很多都有问题，我怕，我离开后他过得不好！因为我现在要离婚必须放弃儿子！不然他不同意！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 09:37",
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"content": "我有时也想：我自己和谁都是过，可能对方还没他对我和孩子好。孩子就不一样啊，父母的爱是没人能代的！所以我很矛盾。",
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"time_str": "3-17 09:37",
"toContent": "我想回复 见证幸福这个人的评论。求求你别做老好人，还婚姻是神圣的，上帝配合的……",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:12",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "可以多和老公聊一聊，一定要聊透，敢于正面应对彼此之间的看法和想法，多问问自己的内心，是否还在意他",
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"name": "王美霞",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:32",
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"content": "这样的情况确实比较痛苦！进退两难！那就交给时间吧！爱自己，嫁给谁都一样！如有需要欢迎私聊我！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-19 17:35",
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"content": "怎么说呢如果你没想好，而且过的下去就别离吧，毕竟就像你说的，辛苦经营了这么久的家庭也不容易。",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 10:15",
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"content": "做起来也没有一个精神病人能考上二级国家心理咨询师证来的男多少 。多读书多看报少吃零食多睡觉。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:11",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "问问自己的心，你究竟想要的是什么？别再情绪中做决定，可以在壹点灵平台找个心理咨询师分析一下",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 09:34",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "我们离婚是私下的，几乎没人知道，孩子更不知道！我给的理由是要玩或是真爱，请离了婚放心的去！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-20 00:44",
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"content": "他甩的三儿，当着我的面给小三说的，小三不停打电话，还打到我手机上来，我接了马上就挂了！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:02",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "最近没有发生啥事，就之前出轨的事，我觉得他骗了我，我不能完全信任他，感觉不爱了。",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 20:27",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "我想回复 见证幸福这个人的评论。求求你别做老好人，还婚姻是神圣的，上帝配合的……",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:57",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "每一个人做事都会有他的动机，而什么是动机呢？动机是不平衡。嗯，欢迎您来咨询。",
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"name": "张喆",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-16 21:58",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "我理想的就是好聚好散，儿子归我，他拼死不干，还说要自杀，不让我们过的安心！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:56",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "抛开道德标准，不去谴责，我们就会发现有一个问题一直没解决，为什么会出轨？",
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"name": "张喆",
"time_str": "3-14 21:56",
"toContent": "男的渣还有理由？女的逼的出轨？",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-18 00:02",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "真相，永远是第一。好好先搞清楚各种问题发生的前提条件，然后对症下药。",
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"name": "雨田先生",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-20 02:08",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "你这个问题需要一位好的咨询师帮你分析下你内心真正的想法是什么[微笑]",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 06:08",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "离了吧，和小三是真爱，他只是想要儿子，告诉他离了还可以找人给他生儿子",
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"name": "救赎我。",
"time_str": "前天 06:08",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-17 15:19",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "儿子对你和对他一样重要，不妨给他一个机会，试着接受，毕竟你们爱过！",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-14 21:54",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "小三也是因为老公出轨离婚的！反正我觉得能当小三的人肯定不怎么善良",
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"answerCreateTime": "3-20 14:24",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "或许你应该为自己活着，不是为了别人，都是第一次做人，干嘛在意别人",
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"answerCreateTime": "今天 07:30",
"askId": 534417,
"content": "他激怒不了我，他冒火只会自己砍自己，说他不会活了，跳楼之类的话！",
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"content": "是的，感觉之前的事情骗了我，我不能完全相信他，感觉自己不爱他了",
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