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{
"name": "唐魁位",
"content": "从你的文字中我可以看到你非常喜欢在修仙或玄学等小说文学中去宣泄自己的一些情绪，但是这种宣泄带来的快感是短暂的，这可能难以解决你目前所面对的现实中的问题，这也是难以让自己收获更加长久轻松的原因——意识界用时多了，对现实界关注就会变少，现实问题堆积的越多，压力也就越大。\n 我在思考回答您的第二问题是否可以得到2元的打赏，当然我会认真回复你的问题。\n 看到你的家庭，我不由自主的想起了，当年我爷爷，在我小时候也是这样一板一眼的教育我，比如：“站如松，坐如钟”、“食不言寝不语”等等。然后，因为不听话，不喜欢这样的教育模式，童年调皮如我，没少挨揍。\n\n曾几何时，我也对这样的方式产生了怀疑，看似“循规蹈矩、四平八稳”的生活，真的会很好吗？\n\n甚至，这种“四平八稳”的行为，在现实中比比皆是，比如新生入学的军训，部队豆腐块的被子。这些，都是不好的？都只能给我们的生活带来阴影嘛？\n\n事实并不是如此，而是我们自己在成年之后，面对现实的压力，内心无力感释放出来的时候，往往退行成一个孩子，去怪罪身边的人，那么，这个身边的人，绝大多数就是——“原生家庭”。\n\n没有人的原生家庭是十全十美的，也没有一个教育方式是十全十美的。\n\n带着不完美进入人生，就不能创造美好的将来么？答案自然是否定的，太多的励志故事，和屌丝逆袭的例子说明了，丑小鸭也可以成为天鹅，关键在于有没有毅力和坚持。\n\n记得，有这样一句话，“所有的心理问题都是财富”。是的，只不过，不是所有的人，都能拥有把心理问题变成财富的能力罢了。\n\n如果你需要改变，也渴望改变，也能坚持改变，那么，为什么不找咨询师来帮助你，实现这个华丽的转身呢？唐老师在这里等着你……",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "首先多谢老师打这么多字\n每个人原生家庭情况都不一样\n简单来说，我从小养成了内向，敏感，自卑，老实，木讷，懦弱的性格\n我不怪罪我的父母，而是他们本身就有自我中心，抑郁，焦虑，情绪不稳，等等问题。\n在农村，一些父母对性格懦弱的男孩，容纳度真的很小；这并不是一个教育方式的问题，我有恨他们的资格。\n最后我现在走在正确的路上，只是身体不好的时候会出现波动而已。",
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{
"name": "彭俊",
"content": "谢谢大家的关怀，我今天已经好多了，人真是一种奇怪的东西，即使昨天经历多大的事，第二天还是照常生活了",
"toName": "王兴永",
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"toContent": "为你高兴，因为看到了你的反思与成长和接纳现实。",
"to_content": "为你高兴，因为看到了你的反思与成长和接纳现实。",
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{
"name": "彭俊",
"content": "最不想听的就是懂事了[捂脸]以后绝不让我孩子太懂事了[大哭]",
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{
"name": "赵文嘉",
"content": "您好，我是壹点灵平台入驻中级心理咨询师，国家婚姻家庭中级心理咨询师，赵老师。\n通过您的讲述，我大概了解了您目前面对的问题。在这里我先简单说一下我的想法，希望能对您有所帮助。\n我特别理解你的感受，因为我以前也跟你类似，不敢跟父母要求什么，不敢反抗他们。我为了可以不用跟他们提要求就能自己过的好，不学习了各种知识，很多甚至是偷着学的，还怕他们不理解说我是白做工。不过事实是我学有所得，有了成绩，他们自然改变了他们的态度，或者说他们本来就没有我想象的那么“恶霸”，是我把他们看的恐怖了。\n所以，你要做的，是先让自己变好，不要过多的在意生病这件事，心里压力大格外容易生病，试着把它看轻一些。\n\n以上是我的角度的看法，感谢您对我的信任。如果能对您的问题有所帮助那是最好不过得了，如果您还有疑虑或是想法，欢迎来电讨论，我会和您一起找到解决问题的最佳方法。",
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"toContent": "我也是这样，考上高中以后，他们就开始改变对我的看法了，只是忘不了童年的伤痛，没没生病都会孤单无助，生病之后还不向任何人寻求帮助（主要指父母），我大概真的想以后死的时候一个人吧，不希望任何人在身边。",
"to_content": "我也是这样，考上高中以后，他们就开始改变对我的看法了，只是忘不了童年的伤痛，没没生病都会孤单无助，生病之后还不向任何人寻求帮助（主要指父母），我大概真的想以后死的时候一个人吧，不希望任何人在身边。",
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{
"name": "洪祖宝",
"content": "您好！我是壹点灵心理咨询师洪祖宝。\n理解你现在的心情！你希望改变，\n这才是最重要的心理动力！\n\n失去力量是因为家庭生活中，\n爱的表达不够细腻，缺乏流动，\n这是中国普通家庭的常态，\n但并不是没有爱。其实听话老实的\n另一面是倔强和困惑。\n\n1、运动会帮助你找回力量，建议\n跑步或参加各类体育运动。\n2、学习基础课程外，多学习社会类\n学科，参加社会实践。有机会可以\n做些义工，参加一些公益活动。\n3、敏感的人可以自学一技之长，\n比如自学中医养生、心理学、文学等。\n需要可以咨询我，祝福！",
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"time_str": "前天 17:25",
"toContent": "谢谢老师",
"to_content": "谢谢老师",
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{
"name": "关珩",
"content": "你好，要有一个积极的心态，尝试着通过自我调节来处理情绪。\n首先，多到大自然中放松自己，调节自己的心态，多去所谓的旅游，不一定坐车出远门，比如公园，锻炼场，参加个培训班，学习一门技能或语言，主要目的就在和大家一起参与学习时候来提高自己的群体中的自我意识和他群认知度，给生活定个目标，朝着目标全力以赴达到忘我，就会放松心情了。\n再就是不断学习相关的知识，并且把知识运用到工作和生活当中去，形成自己的实践经验。还要去学习一些有关情绪控制或情商管理方面的知识，提高对自己情绪的控制能力。",
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"answerCreateTime": "昨天 16:57",
"time_str": "昨天 16:57",
"toContent": "谢谢老师",
"to_content": "谢谢老师",
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{
"name": "马艳华",
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师马艳华\n 你的描述中，看到从小你就受到家庭影响，奶奶和妈妈吵架，你是个乖孩子，不敢提出任何要求，不被周围人认可，性格懦弱，内向，敏感。是呀，这样的家庭让你活的好累呀。\n现在想要改变自己的性格？你多大啦？\n这些都可以慢慢改变的。让自己自信，阳光。\n希望我的回答能够帮助到你，如有疑问可以私聊我哈。",
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"toContent": "谢谢老师，我27岁了\n这几年开始上班之后已经开始改变了，不过也急不得",
"to_content": "谢谢老师，我27岁了\n这几年开始上班之后已经开始改变了，不过也急不得",
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"name": "刘爱军",
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵中级心理咨询师刘爱军。\n人生在世，十有八九不如意，该怎么面对，这也是老生常谈的话题。正确的的认识自己，才是解读问题的根源，改变的不是自己的本质，而是面对世界面对人生的态度，爱自己才能爱别人。经常性的总结，梳理阶段目标和长远目标，把焦虑变成动力，助推自己的成长，相信自己是有力量也是有能力在人生路途上，实现完美，创造未来。",
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"toContent": "谢谢",
"to_content": "谢谢",
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"name": "洪祖宝",
"content": "没有爱的父母，他们从小也没有得到爱，对爱他们几乎不懂。也因为这样，他们的生活很受苦。你生活在这样的家庭，领受不到爱，因此对爱失望，对父母失望。但你是懂得爱的人，爱父母，看见他们不懂爱而产生的受苦，送爱给他们，将祝福给他们，这也是你来到这个家庭的意义之一。",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "说孩子懂事是说孩子会为别人着想啊，这难道不令人痛苦吗？\n想买糖果，懂事可以吗？大人生活不易\n想要被爱，懂事可以吗，大人累死累活的。\n想要出去玩，懂事可以吗，大人都从没有休息。\n一句懂事就可以让孩子什么也不要，什么都忍着，痛苦\n还有比这残酷的酷刑吗",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "你出生在这个家庭，有考虑过你的想法吗？\n你上学，工作有考虑过你的想法吗？\n你必须遵守法律、按准则办事，有考虑过你的想法吗？\n你对别人好也罢，坏也罢，看别人美丑，善恶。不都是你自己的想法吗？\n人不为己 天诛地灭，去考虑别人想法的全都没有好下场。",
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{
"name": "董海燕",
"content": "相信您来这个平台，是希望得到帮助，改善当前状况，您确信需要帮助的话，联系我，我会帮助您梳理分析并提供方案，可以点击我的头像或者我主页的顶部的立即预约按钮，进行预约申请，关注我，随时联系，用心理解，用爱倾听，我在这里等着您：）",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "我也是这样，考上高中以后，他们就开始改变对我的看法了，只是忘不了童年的伤痛，没没生病都会孤单无助，生病之后还不向任何人寻求帮助（主要指父母），我大概真的想以后死的时候一个人吧，不希望任何人在身边。",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "小的他们是真的不爱我\n我奶奶倒是很爱我，我妈是天天跟奶奶吵架，要死要活的那种程度。\n再加上我小时候，老实本分，一点不讨人喜欢，体弱多病。一直有鼻炎，他们会爱我就见鬼了。",
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"toContent": "没有爱的父母，他们从小也没有得到爱，对爱他们几乎不懂。也因为这样，他们的生活很受苦。你生活在这样的家庭，领受不到爱，因此对爱失望，对父母失望。但你是懂得爱的人，爱父母，看见他们不懂爱而产生的受苦，送爱给他们，将祝福给他们，这也是你来到这个家庭的意义之一。",
"to_content": "没有爱的父母，他们从小也没有得到爱，对爱他们几乎不懂。也因为这样，他们的生活很受苦。你生活在这样的家庭，领受不到爱，因此对爱失望，对父母失望。但你是懂得爱的人，爱父母，看见他们不懂爱而产生的受苦，送爱给他们，将祝福给他们，这也是你来到这个家庭的意义之一。",
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{
"name": "陈雁夏",
"content": "觉察是改变的开始。你从小压抑自己，需求呗否定，积累了大量的负能量，现在还能积极求助，这证明你很有韧性。改变不是一朝一夕，先从自我接纳开始。爱每一个状态下的你。",
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"to_name": "彭俊",
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"toContent": "谢谢你",
"to_content": "谢谢你",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "以前的答案就是不断的努力，试图让周围的人肯定，让父母肯定自己，而通过努力成了村里第一个大学生。\n只是身体一不舒服，就感觉什么都没有意义了",
"toName": "尤四海",
"to_name": "尤四海",
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"toContent": "那么想想得到了别人的认可之后，下一个目标是什么呢？健康，名誉，还是什么重要的事情！",
"to_content": "那么想想得到了别人的认可之后，下一个目标是什么呢？健康，名誉，还是什么重要的事情！",
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"name": "陈雁夏",
"content": "给自己满满的爱的滋养，就像养一个孩子一样重新养育自己，给予自己爱和自由，关怀自己的需求，不要去评价，相信你的内在力量会慢慢回来。",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"toContent": "嗯",
"to_content": "嗯",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "其实早就有答案了，我努力也是为了自己，我所有的目标/决定都是自己做的。\n只是依旧放不下那个自己而已[大哭]",
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{
"name": "董文娟",
"content": "可以尝试慢慢的从内在去建立更多的自我认同感。内向敏感是应对环境的一种方式，应对方式是可以慢慢调整的。",
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"to_name": "彭俊",
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"toContent": "[OK]",
"to_content": "[OK]",
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{
"name": "张亚兰",
"content": "非常能理解，懂事听话不找麻烦，不敢提要求，内心是委屈的，长期如此肯定会有很多心理问题，欢迎私聊",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "不晓得，小时候发生的事情也改变不了。\n我一直一个人努力，有时候累了，想问自己为什么[大哭]",
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"to_name": "尤四海",
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"toContent": "有过答案吗？",
"to_content": "有过答案吗？",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "一个孩子受了最大的冤屈，然后还不让他说出来；\n恐怕，就是至善之人受到至恶的对待也不过如此了",
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"name": "张学静",
"content": "您好，听了您的经历，真令人心疼。现在开始，好好爱自己，有对父母渴望，就大胆说出来，加油",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"toContent": "谢谢",
"to_content": "谢谢",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "你不知道人类有多么渺小么，就跟一窝蚂蚁，你一脚踩了就踩了，还在乎它们的命运吗？笑死我了",
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"name": "尤四海",
"content": "那么想想得到了别人的认可之后，下一个目标是什么呢？健康，名誉，还是什么重要的事情！",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"toContent": "其实早就有答案了，我努力也是为了自己，我所有的目标/决定都是自己做的。\n只是依旧放不下那个自己而已[大哭]",
"to_content": "其实早就有答案了，我努力也是为了自己，我所有的目标/决定都是自己做的。\n只是依旧放不下那个自己而已[大哭]",
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{
"name": "宋淑英",
"content": "从你的一一回复咨询师过程中，看出你是个认真懂感恩想改变的孩子。。。自己优点不少",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"toContent": "最不想听的就是懂事了[捂脸]以后绝不让我孩子太懂事了[大哭]",
"to_content": "最不想听的就是懂事了[捂脸]以后绝不让我孩子太懂事了[大哭]",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "根据墨菲定律，世界总会毁灭吧，与其别人来毁灭，还不如毁灭在我的手中[奸笑]",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "你怎么知道毁灭世界不是善举呢，对于人就像灾难一样又不会体会到什么痛苦",
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"time_str": "5-13 20:35",
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{
"name": "彭俊",
"content": "谢谢老师，我27岁了\n这几年开始上班之后已经开始改变了，不过也急不得",
"toName": "马艳华",
"to_name": "马艳华",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 20:51",
"time_str": "前天 20:51",
"toContent": "你可以私聊我哈",
"to_content": "你可以私聊我哈",
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"name": "寂",
"content": "痛苦的只是个别的，大多数还是蛮好的，没有人有权利主宰别人的命运",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"time_str": "5-14 06:25",
"toContent": "你不知道人类有多么渺小么，就跟一窝蚂蚁，你一脚踩了就踩了，还在乎它们的命运吗？笑死我了",
"to_content": "你不知道人类有多么渺小么，就跟一窝蚂蚁，你一脚踩了就踩了，还在乎它们的命运吗？笑死我了",
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"name": "寂",
"content": "[捂脸][捂脸][捂脸]社会在不断的进步，谁人能全知全能，",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"toContent": "神才能，佛祖也能。世界再怎么变也只是这个世界",
"to_content": "神才能，佛祖也能。世界再怎么变也只是这个世界",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "超度（踩死）蚂蚁，就是送它到三千大千极乐世界，就是慈悲",
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{
"name": "王兴永",
"content": "为你高兴，因为看到了你的反思与成长和接纳现实。",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"time_str": "5-18 17:04",
"toContent": "嗯，谢谢",
"to_content": "嗯，谢谢",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "神才能，佛祖也能。世界再怎么变也只是这个世界",
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{
"name": "彭俊",
"content": "听说黑化能治我这个病，想找个恶人拜师",
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"name": "寂",
"content": "那是你的想法，你有考虑过蚂蚁的想法吗",
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"to_name": "彭俊",
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"time_str": "5-15 16:14",
"toContent": "你出生在这个家庭，有考虑过你的想法吗？\n你上学，工作有考虑过你的想法吗？\n你必须遵守法律、按准则办事，有考虑过你的想法吗？\n你对别人好也罢，坏也罢，看别人美丑，善恶。不都是你自己的想法吗？\n人不为己 天诛地灭，去考虑别人想法的全都没有好下场。",
"to_content": "你出生在这个家庭，有考虑过你的想法吗？\n你上学，工作有考虑过你的想法吗？\n你必须遵守法律、按准则办事，有考虑过你的想法吗？\n你对别人好也罢，坏也罢，看别人美丑，善恶。不都是你自己的想法吗？\n人不为己 天诛地灭，去考虑别人想法的全都没有好下场。",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "哈哈，那只是你所理解的偏激和专牛角尖",
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"name": "寂",
"content": "你得想法太偏激了，专牛角尖了哦，",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"time_str": "5-17 10:45",
"toContent": "哈哈，那只是你所理解的偏激和专牛角尖",
"to_content": "哈哈，那只是你所理解的偏激和专牛角尖",
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{
"name": "谢晓雪",
"content": "改变，从认识开始，并付诸行动",
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"name": "寂",
"content": "全真全善，又怎么去毁灭地球",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
"userHead": "https://img.ydlcdn.com/file/2020/03/30/32abdf4380b7e9f6d54b6b8f17b83e21..jpg!s200x200",
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"time_str": "5-13 20:31",
"toContent": "你怎么知道毁灭世界不是善举呢，对于人就像灾难一样又不会体会到什么痛苦",
"to_content": "你怎么知道毁灭世界不是善举呢，对于人就像灾难一样又不会体会到什么痛苦",
"isZan": 2,
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{
"name": "寂",
"content": "蝼蚁也是生命，佛的慈悲呢",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"time_str": "5-14 19:19",
"toContent": "超度（踩死）蚂蚁，就是送它到三千大千极乐世界，就是慈悲",
"to_content": "超度（踩死）蚂蚁，就是送它到三千大千极乐世界，就是慈悲",
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{
"name": "尤四海",
"content": "你好！需要哪些改变呢？",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"toContent": "不晓得，小时候发生的事情也改变不了。\n我一直一个人努力，有时候累了，想问自己为什么[大哭]",
"to_content": "不晓得，小时候发生的事情也改变不了。\n我一直一个人努力，有时候累了，想问自己为什么[大哭]",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "变成神，毁灭这个世界",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "全知全能和全真全善",
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"time_str": "5-13 20:19",
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"name": "寂",
"content": "那，什么是神呢",
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"to_name": "彭俊",
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"time_str": "5-13 20:17",
"toContent": "全知全能和全真全善",
"to_content": "全知全能和全真全善",
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"name": "马艳华",
"content": "你可以私聊我哈",
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"answerCreateTime": "前天 20:54",
"time_str": "前天 20:54",
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"name": "尤四海",
"content": "有过答案吗？",
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"to_name": "彭俊",
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"time_str": "5-13 19:04",
"toContent": "以前的答案就是不断的努力，试图让周围的人肯定，让父母肯定自己，而通过努力成了村里第一个大学生。\n只是身体一不舒服，就感觉什么都没有意义了",
"to_content": "以前的答案就是不断的努力，试图让周围的人肯定，让父母肯定自己，而通过努力成了村里第一个大学生。\n只是身体一不舒服，就感觉什么都没有意义了",
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"name": "寂",
"content": "你想变成啥",
"toName": "彭俊",
"to_name": "彭俊",
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"time_str": "5-13 20:08",
"toContent": "变成神，毁灭这个世界",
"to_content": "变成神，毁灭这个世界",
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"name": "彭俊",
"content": "嗯，谢谢",
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"time_str": "前天 09:21",
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{
"name": "彭俊",
"content": "[OK]",
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"name": "赵婷",
"content": "您好，我是壹点灵平台的咨询师，赵婷。\n讨好型人格是一味委曲求全，以低自尊的姿态一味满足别人各种无理要求。\n\n别人拒绝你时轻描淡写；而你拒绝别人的时候；感觉自己犯了天大的错。\n\n错误心理逻辑\n\n（1）对别人的感受特别敏感\n\n特别在意别人对自己的看法，生怕自己做了什么别人会不喜欢，越重视对方，越会担心，导致做任何事情都小心翼翼，一个小错误也会懊恼很久；\n\n（2）抬高别人，贬低自己\n\n没有主见，别人说吃什么就吃什么，别人说玩什么就玩儿什么，自己的举动建立在别人的评价之上，很怕被嫌弃，降低自己心里才更安全；\n\n（3）不敢发出请求，很难拒绝别人\n\n害怕说不，不懂拒绝，被人占了便宜也会选择默不作声，担心一旦拒绝，与别人的关系就会破裂，从来不敢表达自己的需求，很怕给别人添麻烦，担心自己成为别人的负担；\n\n（4）缺乏界限和原则\n\n做任何事情都以取悦别人为目的，既守不住界限，允许别人在自己的生活里指手画脚，又经常突破别人的界限，渴望建立亲密关系又常常因为别人不能满足他们的期待而受伤。\n\n性格评价\n很多人的“讨好型人格”，是因为心底的善良。但委屈自己的善良，在别人眼中可能只是卑微的讨好，而你只是成为了可以任意欺负的对象。\n 父母是对我们影响最深的催眠师，童年父母说的话比如“我为你付出这么多.你还这么不听话”背后的意思是为你付出的一切你必须想尽一切办法报答，激发了人性对父母的愧疚感，成年以后也容易讨好。您说的一个人呆着，就是很少出去和人建立链接，也很有可能存在一种深深的害怕被抛弃的恐惧感和绝望。现代人最早的基因密码携带原始人的身份记忆，原始部落里为了躲避野兽的追逐大自然的灾难会在群体逃亡中失散，那种流离失所无家可归的感觉深深印刻在人类记忆中。西方心理学家荣格所说的集体潜意识就是遵循着这样恒古不变的规律。\n 建议试着多做正面自我暗示，找一个本子写下生活中每天自己做得好的点滴或优点，过段时间奖励自己一个喜欢的小礼品。\n 先试着去接纳自己吧！一切关系的源头就是自我关系。你是值得被尊重和善待的，爱是自然流露，没必要讨好任何人。",
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"name": "唐魁位",
"content": "漫步人生，关于讨好型人格改这个问题，其实我也有这种情况。应该怎么一点点的去改呢？还是有方法的，比如通过心理咨询或心理治疗。\n 很多时候我也知道我身上有什么样的问题，但是我也解决不了。那么我们该做些什么，我们只能往前走的看。那么在另外一种情况下，我们也可以换一种方法说，我们可以说有些事情它就是这样的，我们不知道什么时候我们才真的能够做到改变。 那么让我们继续去觉察，去讨论，也许我们能找到解决问题的还有更好的方法。减少这种情况发生。\n 所以在这样的一个咨询经常进行之后，你就会变得越来越好的，包括之前难以回避发生的一些对人际关系讨好反应难以自控这种情况和程度都会有所变化的。那么随着我们咨询的深入，我们必然还会遇到各种各样的问题，那么每一个问题我们都根据这个问题的有价值程度，一起展开讨论，有些问题可能价值不太大，可以一句话就带过了。那么其他的问题通过心理咨询都会尽量得到回答，但是一次回答不代表的你就能够真正理解所有时候类似的问题，我们每一次咨询的时候你可能都会问，但是你问的越来越多的时候，那我们从不同角度开始展开讨论和解答的时候，这个问题在你的心里面的疑惑就会慢慢越来越少的，也不要指望一次两次三次你就想能咨询清楚，讨好型人格的改变这个问题，得慢慢来知道吧？",
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"name": "韩红岩",
"content": "你好！\n\n讨好型人格的形成确实和幼时经历有关。也许，幼时自己在家，总是害怕被大人抛弃，或者是不被爱，为此去讨好身边的成年人。\n\n非常幸运的是，你觉察到了自己人格中存在的问题，而且这个问题带给你非常不好的体验，那么生活中，面对你周边的人，与他们相处的时候，时时觉察自己的内在感受和真实意愿，从小事着手，努力遵从内心的感受及意愿去与他们相处，学会拒绝，学会反驳。\n\n人格是可以成长完善的，这是一个漫长的过程，从加强自身的价值感到时时觉察并遵从内心的感受。\n\n祝福你！如果需要进一步探讨自我成长、自我完善的话题可以私聊我，也可以拨打我的倾诉电话。",
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"name": "朱小芳",
"content": "你好！心疼你的努力和挣扎！\n\n1.讨好型人格形成起于生命早期，长期的独处让你缺乏安全感，你也知道只有努力讨好父母，才有可能不会被抛弃，这是一种生存策略。\n\n2.现已成人的你，独立意识与自主性逐渐发展壮大，可是由于早期创伤让你无法摆脱“讨好”的习惯。\n\n3.你需要咨询师的帮助，探索原生家庭的依恋模式，重获自我成长的力量。\n\n我是二级咨询师朱老师，211大学心理学研究生毕业，十余年一直从事着临床心理咨询工作，希望能够帮助你！祝好！",
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"name": "王兴永",
"content": "讨好型人格大多和父母的专制和强势有关。这样的朋友往往又没有什么主见。对和别人关系的依附程度很高。如果想改变，不花一点时间，没有决心和勇气肯定是不能的。有需要可以和我私聊。",
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"name": "刘芮杉",
"content": "亲爱的很心疼你，你的讨好型人格是跟你父母有关系的。他们小的时候应该没有好好照料你的需求，所以会让你变得很害怕敏感，想要讨好才能存活下来，谋得别人的喜爱。现在你大了，你可以改变了，你不需要再靠那个小伎俩去存活了。但你却习惯了，很难改变了，我理解你。你需要重新找回自己，尊重照顾自己的感受为先，适当鼓起勇气拒绝别人。慢慢会好起来",
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"name": "陈希南",
"content": "你好！你确认自己是讨好型人格吗？你会经常自卑，感觉自己许多方面都不如他人吗？你会敏感，别人说个事感觉是在说自己吗？你会经常自我否定，会觉得自己说的某些话、做的某些事，别人会否定你、攻击你从而不敢去说、去做吗？如果是这样那也是曾经的你，如果你愿意探索，让自己变得自信、充满价值感，那修复人格的行程就已经启动了，欢迎私聊！",
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"name": "王佰慧",
"content": "您好，我说壹点灵的心理咨询师～王佰慧\n看到你对目前人际交往互动模式的行为方式感到苦恼，你是通过观察对方的反应来得到你自己心中的答案，来判断这段关系稳定不稳定，你是不是安全的状态。\n希望的解答能够帮助到你，如果有疑问，欢迎私信我哦",
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"content": "你好，看到你的描述，一方面你感到自己受到家人，朋友的精神控制，另一方面你感到对他们有一些敌意无法表达。我个人认为并不是去刻意改掉什么，加强自我界限感，升华情绪表达也是不错的选择哦",
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"name": "陈飞飞",
"content": "您好!我是壹点灵的心理咨询师陈飞飞。\n讨好型人格可能是很多原因造成的，需要更多的信息来分析。\n讨好的背后是对对方的愤怒和对自我的压抑。",
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"name": "龚晓容",
"content": "这个确实和原生家庭有关系呢，你能够意识到但是改不掉，需要做自我成长",
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"name": "邹宏宇",
"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师邹宏宇\n\n有详细看完您的内容，要讲讨好型人格的话，我们就首先要去了解它到底是什么？\n\n所谓「讨好型人格」就是：做任何事都优先考虑别人的看法和别人的喜好，总是希望得到他人的认同和喜欢；特别害怕人际间的冲突，总是担心别人会因为自己不高兴；不知道该怎么说「不」、不会拒绝别人，所以常常忍气吞声； 害怕被忽略，却又总是被忽略，经常默默地一个人伤心难过…\n\n而讨好行人格，常常伴随着低自尊，这些东西可能是和你从小的成长经历，还有，长期以来的生存环境和生活习惯是有关的，那你可能需要去反观这一部分去调整它，另外的话，你如果想要通过自己调整的话，那你就需要去提高自己的自尊，去让自己自信去培养那种看见自己优点的习惯。\n\n感谢你查看我的回复，希望能够给你一些启发，如果有需要的话，你也可以找我详细聊一聊，这样的话，我可以给你更针对性的建议，真正帮到你！",
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"name": "吴平",
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵平台心理咨询师吴老师，我们在小的时候，在和父母相处的依恋关系中，没有得到好的培养，没有得到足够的安全感，会使我们采用防御或回避的姿态来使自己感到安全，当我们长大以后，时移世易，但人格上的烙印却始终难以消除甚至相伴终身。\n你现在的感觉是你的身体，是你的内在自我发给你的信号，你希望改变，这是你改变的开始和动力来源。\n你已经觉察到了自己的感受，你看到了讨好型的自我，你也看到了幼时的孤独无助，你甚至看到并厌恶对特别在意人的感受，这一切的觉察，都是你开始觉醒，开始向好的方面转化的信号！\n你现在的感受和困惑是你的向导，如果你想更清晰的看到自己人生的这张地图，并找到自我价值和绘画更美好的未来，可以和专业的心理咨询师谈谈，相信对你会有莫大的帮助！",
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"name": "洪祖宝",
"content": "您好！我是壹点灵心理咨询师洪祖宝。\n很理解您的心情，讨好型人格是\n自小原生家庭就形成的小甜甜，\n因为内心害怕冲突，\n而表现出的行为状态，\n从内心来说这是牺牲，即使\n周围的人因为你讨好而认可你，\n你内心也不会有开心，因为他们\n认可的是那个假装的带面具的你，\n你并不认为他们会理解你。\n\n你隐藏自己，是因为害怕冲突，\n问自己什么原因导致自己的害怕？\n这需要咨询，找到影响自己的症结，\n大多与父母或家庭成员间的冲突有关。\n找到自己的真正价值，\n看到无惧的自己，天真无邪的自己，\n找回自己的力量，看重自己。\n需要请联系我，祝福！",
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"name": "杜玉姣",
"content": "你好！你对自己是讨好型人格的形成想探究，不满意，想改变，是吗？\n讨好，即成全别人，让别人舒服而委屈自己，就是你说的“委屈求全”，是成长过程 中形成的自动化的行为模式，不是一朝一夕能改变的。它一定是和我们童年创伤事件有关，在创伤事件中为了达成某个愿望或避开伤害当时不得不采取的应对模式，人格形成正是受这些因素影响。心理学上往往叫纠正偏差而成长，1.接纳自己的人格特质 2.处理童年创伤 3.看见自己的优势和资源，提升积极自我和自我价值感，久而久之你会进步成长。我是心理咨询师杜玉姣，希望能帮助到你。有需要私聊我。",
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"name": "郑秀林",
"content": "您好，\n我是壹点灵心理的二级心理咨询师郑秀林。\n针对您发布的内容，我有一些想法给您回馈。\n讨好型人格的人会活得很辛苦。他们总是不断的榨干自己。牺牲自己，奉献别人。但是得到的往往是不尊重。会很难过，很痛苦。\n这是因为童年以及从小到大的低自尊和无价值感。所造成的。\n如果对童年的事件去做一些梳理。重新捡回自己的自尊。重建自己的价值感。你将会改变这种讨好型人格。\n如果您的焦虑无法调解，建议您寻求专业的心理倾诉，或者心理咨询。\n欢迎私信我，或者预约我的咨询，我们来共同探讨个性化的解决方案。",
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"name": "刘文",
"content": "在乎一些人的感受，讨好他们，是不是因为怕被伤害，被忽视，被抛弃？童年的经历让我们学会了用这种行为保护我们自己，无可厚非，这是正常的。\n容易被他们语言控制，这或许也是保护自己不被伤害的一种方式，这样表面上他们会认为你在顺从他们，从而满足他们的控制欲。不会轻易地攻击你。关键是你已经觉察到了你的困惑和你内心的不舒服。\n只有让自己内心强大，才能不在意别人的看法，需要成长。\n你好，我是平台的咨询师刘文，如果你愿意可以和我说说，我们一起分析，澄清，探索。",
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"name": "焦晓娜",
"content": "您好，从你的话中能感受到你的压抑和委屈，明明知道是他们做的不好，却又自己改变，去让他们满意。很多时候，这种性格与早年的经历和相处模式有一定的关系，当我们小的时候，能力有限，我们需要用某种方式让自己在当时的环境中生存下来。现在我们已经长大了，不再是小时候那个无助的小孩了，可以慢慢开始，一点一点的尝试去用自己的力量去调整，去改变，让自己舒服一点，成为自己想成为的那个自己。",
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"name": "马艳华",
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师马艳华\n 你说你是讨好型人格，对父母，朋友，前任，现任，你都容易被他们控制，委屈自己，导致自己积累压力过大，想要改变自己。\n人的性格，交往模式和自己从小接受的教育方式和生长环境有很大关系。你可以慢慢改变的。首先树立自己的自信心，有自己判断事物的能力，不被他人影响…………\n希望我的回答能够帮助到你，如有需要请联系我哦。",
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"name": "原玲",
"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师原玲。\n你的讨好型人格，是跟你一直以来的生活习惯有关系，与你与人相处的模式有关系。\n日常生活发生的事情中，你拿不出自己的态度，所以别人认为你每天态度，怎样都可以。但是你的内心却很不舒服。\n欢迎你私信我，让我了解你，看看到底是什么情况。",
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"name": "董海燕",
"content": "相信您来这个平台，是希望得到帮助，改善当前状况，您确信需要帮助的话，联系我，我会帮助您梳理分析并提供方案，可以点击我的头像或者我主页的顶部的立即预约按钮，进行预约申请，关注我，随时联系，用心理解，用爱倾听，我在这里等着您：）",
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"name": "董海燕",
"content": "相信您来这个平台，是希望得到帮助，改善当前状况，您确信需要帮助的话，联系我，我会帮助您梳理分析并提供方案，可以点击我的头像或者我主页的顶部的立即预约按钮，进行预约申请，关注我，随时联系，用心理解，用爱倾听，我在这里等着您：）",
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"name": "刘芬",
"content": "如果你确定是讨好型人格，那你肯定有些不合理的信念在，如果需要自身改变，就改变信念是第一步，最好找专业咨询师帮你。自己在生活中可以开始学会说“不”，可以对自己好点。",
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"name": "渴望被爱",
"content": "你和我很像，我也是这样，这样很痛苦，别人的一举一动都会影响自己，加油！一切都会好的，我们一起改变",
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"name": "林建家",
"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师林建家。从您大段描述看，剥茧抽丝，核心问题就是职场人际关系问题。我们从你第一条，梦开始解读。梦是潜意识的表达，只有做梦者才真正明白梦的意义，梦是虚幻的，但从后面你的描述看，你确实存在不被领导待见的问题。关于你工作不扎实的问题，这是需要你不断的提升自己的，想要不被跳出毛病，那就不要出错。性格问题，如果你的性格不利于融洽同事关系，那唯一要做的就是要改变自己。关于你的第四条，人是群居动物，有人的地方就有人际关系，关系好了，问题就会少，也比较如鱼得水，关系不畅，就会出现社会排斥现象，这是很自然的。第五条，只能说明你在公司被重视程度不够，不管你舒服不舒服，你要做到被重视，就是你离做到自己有价值。第六第七我就不说了，大同小异。第八条，我想说的是天下乌鸦一般黑，这不是贬低，只是要说的是职场规则基本一样，你在A公司不受待见，如果不做出改变，在B公司也好不到哪去。\n如果职场规则困扰了你，需要的是改变，改变，改变。怎么改变，自己找答案。\n 如果需要专业帮助，可私聊我。",
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"toContent": "老师我不这么认为，领导如果想挑你毛病，不管是错误也好，还是挑不出错误，她要刷存在感挑你做的不够完美的地方也好，要挑毛病肯定是能挑出来的，而且财务部领导都有一些细节强迫症，有时候并不是我工作扎不扎实啊。她高度不够一直挑不那么要紧的细节，瑕疵。",
"to_content": "老师我不这么认为，领导如果想挑你毛病，不管是错误也好，还是挑不出错误，她要刷存在感挑你做的不够完美的地方也好，要挑毛病肯定是能挑出来的，而且财务部领导都有一些细节强迫症，有时候并不是我工作扎不扎实啊。她高度不够一直挑不那么要紧的细节，瑕疵。",
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"name": "陈艳",
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵职业规划师陈艳。\n由你表述看，你们财务部领导应该是猫头鹰型的性格特点。在我原来的企业里的财务也是这个性格特点，是个细节控，比较固执，很注意过程中的细节，那是因为他们是超级没有安全感的人，只有把过程中的每个细节保证不出错，他们才能放心，要不然他们晚上也睡不着觉的。这个性格是挺难改变的，就像有洁癖的人，你让他看见脏了不去擦干净，他就会很难受，浑身不舒服。职场中，其实最重要不是跟同事去硬碰硬，而是要找到合适的办法去解决这个问题，要了解同事们的特点，他们有什么优势，有什么缺点，与这样的同事相处，应该怎么做会更好，知彼知已，才能打胜仗。\n如果需要帮助，可以私聊老师哦~~",
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"toContent": "老师，有时候过分细节控就会失去高度。我被她这样的方式有时整的很难受。。",
"to_content": "老师，有时候过分细节控就会失去高度。我被她这样的方式有时整的很难受。。",
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"name": "陈艳",
"content": "是的，这个性格的人，优点是认真细致，但这个优点的背后就是她的缺点，因为过分关注细节，会导致他们没有太长远的眼光，沉浸在细节里无法自拔。对于这样的领导，你跟她的相处模式，就是满足她的安全感即可，就是需要多汇报，细节过程尽量让她多多的了解，这样她悬着的心才能放下，才能让她不焦虑，才能对你更合作。\n对于她只注重细节，而没有高度这个问题，你就不用过分在意了，就当你对她的救赎吧，救人一命，胜造七级浮屠。体谅别人的弱点，会给你积福的，也能让你变的更温暖，让你更受大家的喜欢。",
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"name": "王倩",
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师王倩。\n\n其实有的时候，工作就只是工作，如果你抱有太多的期待，反而会失望。工作就是大家赚钱，养活自己，让自己的能力得到提高，学习更多的技能，以后找到更多的平台。\n\n你现在梦见这些，是因为你家公司受到的不公平待遇，还有你对自己的专业技能的不自信。其实你能跳槽，找到新工作，已经说明了你的能力，比以前的自己好，就是进步，慢慢来。\n\n希望我的回答能够帮到你，如果你还有疑问，可以私信问我。",
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"name": "林建家",
"content": "你目前是紧盯着这样一个具体的事件，如果你从这个事件当中跳出来看的话，反映的是一个人际关系，如果有良好的人际关系，对方的表达就会不一样。我们可以私聊一下。",
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{
"name": "张春峰",
"content": "看书可以，看职场电视剧对你也有帮助，关键是要看门道不能光看热闹。",
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{
"name": "洪祖宝",
"content": "您好！我是壹点灵心理咨询师洪祖宝。\n很理解您的心情，您想改变自己，\n这说明你真正开始要向前迈进。\n\n所有人都不是完善的，当发现问题，\n想改变的时候，才是提升自己的机会！\n\n性格孤僻往往显得冷漠，就缺乏热情，\n没有温度就很难与人交流，\n人流动，心不流动，到哪里都受困。\n\n看看自己究竟在恨谁？\n做原谅和宽恕的功课，从父亲开始，\n真正的宽恕父母，再找到伤害自己\n的其他人，宽恕是你人生的第一功课。\n\n只有做好宽恕，心里没有恨，\n你才会轻松的快乐的面对身边的人，\n即使工作出现闪失，也不会有防卫，\n也会轻松的矫正，同事领导关系才会\n和谐！\n\n和自己的亲人多聊天，爱父亲\n工作事业就会顺利～\n\n祝福！",
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"name": "陈霞",
"content": "你好我是一点零心理咨询师陈霞。\n我以前也有涉猎财务方面，这是一个专业领域。\n我给你分析，现在有单位人际阴影，所以做梦投射到新单位。\n但是你之所以有现在职场困惑，也如你自己分析的性格比较直率不善人际关系。但是，你有没有发现某些专业人才，比如拿了注册会计师的，有学位的，技术强的人，即使上班沉默，个性淡漠些，但是领导不敢小看，同事也是。说到这里，也提下专业不好但是攻于心机会和领导拉关系的也在单位有存在感，所以，这两种人，你看自己能做哪个？你是领导是不是也喜欢这两种人，关键是我分析你努力下能成为第一种人，怎么努力，为什么这样肯定你，可以私聊或约我，我帮助你成为第一种人，凭本事立足",
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"name": "林芳",
"content": "看到问题您好可爱啊，梦见自己不受公司同事领导待见，怀疑和担心，你以前就常常有这样的担心和怀疑吧？尤其当您感觉自己不受欢迎时，这一部分非常值得探究，是什么阻碍着您。\n\n您需要通过别人来肯定自己，或者通过别人来看到自己。有没有呢？这是一方面没有问题，不过最最最最重要的一方面是自己肯定自己，自己觉得自己有价值，自己相信自己，我一定会天下无敌。\n\n都到这里咨询了，这么多优秀的咨询老师包括我在，让自己坚实起来吧！",
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"name": "原玲",
"content": "您好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师原玲。\n给我的感受，你在工作中的与人相处方面，缺少一点小技巧，掌握之后，就会处理好与他人的关系；\n至于业务方面的能力，可以在实践中慢慢积累，提高。\n你的梦境，显示出你的焦虑。显示出你比较在意别人的看法。\n欢迎你私信我，看看有哪些方面可以尽快改善。",
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"content": "老师我不这么认为，领导如果想挑你毛病，不管是错误也好，还是挑不出错误，她要刷存在感挑你做的不够完美的地方也好，要挑毛病肯定是能挑出来的，而且财务部领导都有一些细节强迫症，有时候并不是我工作扎不扎实啊。她高度不够一直挑不那么要紧的细节，瑕疵。",
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"toContent": "你好，我是壹点灵职业规划师陈艳。\n由你表述看，你们财务部领导应该是猫头鹰型的性格特点。在我原来的企业里的财务也是这个性格特点，是个细节控，比较固执，很注意过程中的细节，那是因为他们是超级没有安全感的人，只有把过程中的每个细节保证不出错，他们才能放心，要不然他们晚上也睡不着觉的。这个性格是挺难改变的，就像有洁癖的人，你让他看见脏了不去擦干净，他就会很难受，浑身不舒服。职场中，其实最重要不是跟同事去硬碰硬，而是要找到合适的办法去解决这个问题，要了解同事们的特点，他们有什么优势，有什么缺点，与这样的同事相处，应该怎么做会更好，知彼知已，才能打胜仗。\n如果需要帮助，可以私聊老师哦~~",
"to_content": "你好，我是壹点灵职业规划师陈艳。\n由你表述看，你们财务部领导应该是猫头鹰型的性格特点。在我原来的企业里的财务也是这个性格特点，是个细节控，比较固执，很注意过程中的细节，那是因为他们是超级没有安全感的人，只有把过程中的每个细节保证不出错，他们才能放心，要不然他们晚上也睡不着觉的。这个性格是挺难改变的，就像有洁癖的人，你让他看见脏了不去擦干净，他就会很难受，浑身不舒服。职场中，其实最重要不是跟同事去硬碰硬，而是要找到合适的办法去解决这个问题，要了解同事们的特点，他们有什么优势，有什么缺点，与这样的同事相处，应该怎么做会更好，知彼知已，才能打胜仗。\n如果需要帮助，可以私聊老师哦~~",
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"content": "面子是靠本事和能力挣来的。职场千万别学长脾气，要学长本领。",
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"name": "王兴永",
"content": "先干了，再说。不必想太多。\n待在舒适区里当然是安全的，但是和进步发展无关。\n最要紧的尝试先迈出第一小步，不必想太多。",
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"name": "陈婷",
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵的心理咨询师陈婷。\n\n我记得自己读大学时也像你一样，其实对很多新鲜的事物都感兴趣，但因为之间有过一些不是很好的体验，甚至可以说是非常丢脸的经历，久而久之就好像每次看到新事物，虽好奇但绝对止步。但每次看到旁人获得收获的喜悦时，特别是看到一个不如自己的人成功时，我就在心里直后悔，为什么不去试一试呢。\n\n可能我比起你的害怕，我可能还会有很多的不甘心吧。也怪我有时还容易有那么点倔强，所以后来，每当我遇到想要尝试的新事物时，我什么都不想，先报名不给自己留下犹豫的余地……当然，刚开始的时候也是紧张的说不出话或者不断的失败跌倒，但时间长了，我发现有时跌倒和失败其实就是在为成功积累经验。因为没有人是可以一举成功的，对吗？\n\n预祝好！",
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"name": "邹宏宇",
"content": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师邹宏宇\n\n有详细看完您的一个内容，好像是自己有上进心，但是心里又有什么东西堵着自己不敢去尝试，不敢去表现自己。这种感觉就好像是跟社交恐惧，有一点点相像，但又不是这种，就像好像是你很想去跟别人交往，但是又害怕，害怕别人对你的注意，有这样的一个感受吗？\n\n如果有的话，你就要去想一想啊，你在意的到底是什么，然后你可能需要去通过一些稳定化的技术，先把情绪去稳定下来，然后再通过一些行为去慢慢的把它缓和。对于这种问题的话，我们可能会用CBT的技术\n\n感谢查看我的回复，希望能够给你一些启发。如果有需要的话，我们也可以详细聊一聊，我可以给你更针对性的建议，希望能够真正帮到您！",
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"content": "亲爱的，我想跟你说\n你的感受是这个地球上所有人共同的感受\n而唯一不同的是1%的人\n敢于带着这份恐惧去作他期待又害怕的事\n当这样的恐惧又害怕的事作多了\n就像心理学的脱敏\n再面对这样的事情\n你就会变得淡定自如\n只是重点在于\n前期你敢不敢跨出第一步\n即使第一步失败了\n你敢不敢越挫越勇\n这个世界没有无缘无故的成功和光环。\n我是壹点灵心理咨询师，陈佳佳。希望我的回答能够帮助到您。如还有疑问，欢迎私信和我交流（点击头像，在点私聊。）祝好！\n目前首单特惠半小时9元",
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"name": "杜玉姣",
"content": "同学你好！文字里感受到你不敢尝试新的东西，怕失败怕被否定，对自己失望而又心不甘。\n这些表现源于自信心不足，缺乏行动力。自信是成长过程中来自于抚养人对我们的肯定、积极评价，高自信的人敢于挑战不怕失败，相信自己，享受过程而不注重结果，低自信的人相反，不能接受失败的结果而不愿不敢挑战。\n自信是人格形成的指标之一，在人格形成过程中抚养人的特质怎样？互动中对你的影响和评价怎样？老师们可以帮助你成长自己增强自信心。\n我是心理咨询师杜玉姣，感谢你的信任。",
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"content": "您好，看完您的内容，首先我感觉到您很难受，好像很纠结，既想尝试新的机遇，又害怕失败！我相信可能不仅是第一次，之前可能也遇到过。我们可以思考一下自己到底要什么，缺什么，然后有什么可以锻炼和改善的地方。\n我是心理咨询师文红娟，感谢您查看我的回复，希望对你有所帮助，能给您一些启发。如果有什么需要或疑问，欢迎找我聊聊或者去我的主页下单咨询。祝好！",
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"content": "你好，我是心理咨询师李爱玲。从你的描述中，我似乎看到，一个不太自信的小女孩，虽然内心有很多的努力和尝试，但曾经不好的感受会一次次地将你拉回原地。你说内心既渴望又害怕，渴望是你现在的，害怕是曾经的。如果你能将曾经带人你害怕的体验处理一下，我相信，你就可以做到知行合一，不再矛盾了。欢迎找我私聊，也希望可以尽快帮到你。",
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"name": "林芳",
"content": "做与不做，答案是做，做才会多一个结果，对吧。 \n\n第一，去做去争取，第二，怎么去争取，怎么解决你的负面情绪转化成自信、勇敢。恐惧少了勇敢就多了是不是。\n你能来到这里，问题就解决一半啦，欢迎！我也是咨询师。",
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"name": "房宁",
"content": "同学您好！\n想想自己一路走到大学，\n一定有过很多尝试新事物的经历，\n相信你是有能力的。\n也许在某个时候曾遇到过什么事，\n让你体会到过多的焦虑和纠结。\n在大学可以找心理老师沟通，\n或者找平台咨询师寻求帮助。\n\n祝福你！",
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"content": "害怕来自于对未知的恐惧，在做一件事情你害怕的时候，你可以问问这些事情最差的结果是什么样子的，你自己是否可以承受，当你自己可以承受的时候，大胆的鼓励的让自己走出第1步。",
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"content": "这个时候是否愿意尝试把自己想做的事情分解一下，先从一些小的挑战开始，有了第一次的尝试和成功或许可以让你更自信。",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵中级心理咨询师刘爱军。\n从你的描述能看出来，你们还处在青春期的年龄吧。你为了你的男友把命都搭进去了，可以想象得到，为了这份感情你付出了太多太多。但是呢，结果并不是你的预期，所以你很痛苦，不知道该怎么办。\n恋爱不等于是婚姻，更何况你们的年龄也还没到合法的嫁娶年龄，那么婚姻是什么呢，婚姻是建立在理解和包容基础上的一种联结，这个联结是平衡的，需要彼此去爱护和保养。婚姻还包括，亲密、激情和承诺。缺少一项都谈不上婚姻的完美。\n如果你没有这段感情纠葛会怎么样呢，你的心情，你的情绪会是什么状态呢，\n有缘千里来相会，无缘对面不相识。对待感情还是需要理智，你觉得你的男友是（潜力股）吗，这些问题，都需要你仔细想清楚的问题。\n简单解读，希望对你有所帮助。\n如有问题，欢迎私信交流。",
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"content": "你觉得男友的前女友很优秀，所以担心他们会复合。如果优秀是复合的原因，那当初为什么还成为了前任，说明前女友和你男朋友之间的问题，不是优秀的问题。你能跟男朋友走到一块，肯定是你身上有吸引男友的地方，只是你自己没有发现而已。对自己自信一点。爱情就像手里的沙，捏的越紧，反而越容易流失，因为你的种种担心会把情绪和压力传递给对方，对你们的感情反而起到了反作用。你的担心和觉得自己不够好，可以说有些不够自信，这个可以通过心理咨询进行疏导，提高自信，让自己喜欢上自己，也会促进你们的感情。",
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"content": "适度的甜带给人愉悦感，过度的甜带给人齁的感觉，爱也一样，适度的爱让两个人关系亲密，过度的爱让人窒息，看得出来你非常爱对方，不过却不知道如何爱对方，同时你也非常的没有安全感，维系一段感情需要你了解他，和他保持彼此公平的地位，看似这都是你比较缺乏的，你可以和老师私聊，老师可以帮助你了解异性思维，从而学习懂得如何和对方相处才能增进关系，而不是让关系越来越远，希望可以帮助到你。",
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"name": "关珩",
"content": "你好，看起来你觉得男朋友的前女友比你更优秀，但他们还是分手了。男友和你在一起有103天了，男孩回到了学校，你感觉不安心。恋爱期间患得患失的心情也是很正常的，觉得别人比自己好，要多看到自己的优点，男孩喜欢你，自然有你吸引他的地方，是不是？学习努力，纯真可爱，有很多朋友人缘好，发现这样闪闪发光的你，爱上这样闪闪发光的自己。",
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"name": "冀君姣",
"content": "您好！我是壹点灵国家二级心理咨询师冀君姣！\n姑娘，任何时候都不能失去自我。时刻观照，您现在的状态，您自己都没有自我了，又让别人怎么去爱您呢？\n如果您的压力无法自行调节，可以寻求专业的帮助。如果您愿意，可以找我来倾诉，我将用专业的、真诚的帮助陪伴您走过痛苦！\n需要帮助，可以私聊我！\n初次体验价30元半小时",
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"content": "你好，我是壹点灵心理咨询师马艳华\n 你的描述中，说到你和男友在一起130多天了，又讲的是学校要中考了，考完带你回家，我好奇的问一下，你们都多大了？是老师还是学生？\n你可以私聊告诉我一声哈。",
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"content": "其实，爱情也像是一场战争，也要讲究策略的，所以仅仅有爱是远远不够的，还要有爱的技巧，这样才能使爱情和爱人长久，激情，幸福！需要掌握爱情的技巧，可以私聊我。",
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"content": "听起来，你和你男朋友年龄都不大，然后，这个年龄段的男孩都喜欢比较有神秘感，比较可爱，对他比较崇拜的女生。你可以先从这三条来对比下自己。",
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"content": "看得出来你很爱他，如果你过度在意这份恋情，那么这份恋情很难维系，希望你提高自己，看清现实，如果需要聊聊，可以联系我",
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